Turn of the Tide
by slashburd
Summary: HHH/HBK. During a match there's an incident that could change things forever. No serious smut, angst aplenty and tons a love! Rated M for the M/M aspect and language. All reads and reviews appreciated as ever!
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Turn of the Tide (1/??)**

Author: slashburd  
Pairing: HHH/HBK

Rating: M?  
Disclaimer: I do not know of any of this to be true, I don't know or own these people (but I'd secretly love to!).

Summary: M/M Slash, bad language, violence

_I'd like to recommend Thomas Newman, Any Other Name to listen to whilst reading this. Its a very slow and beautiful instrumental piece and well worth trying it out. _

Hunter pulled back the apron of the ring and reaching underneath grabbed his sledgehammer. It hadn't been seen since the industry was made to tone down the violence but he'd been out before the show began to stash it. He'd sensed that it might be needed tonight.

He slid under the bottom rope and back into the ring, getting up and staring with rage etched all over his face, veins protruding everywhere like a road map. There was a steely and determined look in his eyes that utterly terrified the man stood before him, a man who was about to think twice about what he'd just done.

Hunter's breathing was laboured, subconsciously his body was trying to quell both the fire that was starting to rage underneath his skin and the sense of panic and urgency that was creeping slowly up his spine. However it couldn't and didn't want to be stopped, the mist had descended and nothing would clear it away now.

Paul stood there, mouthing apologies, arms outstretched to emphasize the point and, more importantly, keep Hunter at a safe distance. When he saw the snap he knew it hadn't worked and that a storm was indeed coming.

Surging across the ring Hunter swung the hammer back and then sharply thrust it forwards into Paul's gut. Instantly Paul dropped to his knees, doubled over in the centre of the ring, moans of real pain and swear words escaping freely from his mouth. The crowd cheered loudly, easily drowning out Paul's voice, all assuming that this was part of the show.

In a split second Hunter turned the weapon round and raising the handle end high above his head he brought it down with all his might over Paul's back and shoulder blades. There was nothing Paul could do other than to keel forwards, lying prostrate and defenceless in the middle of the ring, screaming in agony.

The referee called for the bell and Hunter barely registered Lillian announcing the disqualification. He couldn't care less if he tried. Dropping the hammer he slid back out of the ring and ran up the walkway, seeing and hearing nothing of the crowd cheering him on. He didn't hear his music kick in and certainly didn't stop to look back at the ring and gloat. There just wasn't time.

***

Bursting through the stage door he looked round frantically, trying to find some sign as to where everyone was at. He saw a door swing open towards the end of the corridor and sprinted down there as fast as he could. Stephanie emerged, her face blotchy and puffed up, one hand curled around her waist and the other over her mouth desperately trying to stifle the sobs that shattered the silence of the corridor.

"Steph, how bad is it?"

"Oh Hunter, my God, I don't know what's happening, he......... he........"

The sobs took over, no words came out of her mouth and Hunter just needed to know. Grabbing her shoulders roughly he asked again.

"Steph, what the fuck is goin' on in there?"

She was totally frozen, staring through her tears straight into Hunter's eyes. He had to know, now.

Letting go of Steph he grabbed the door and swung it open hard, his eyes unprepared for all hell breaking loose behind it. Every medic in the arena was there busily working away, tightening straps, talking, preparing, counting; the flow of words and noises flooding Hunter's senses until he couldn't take any more.

"Will somebody, anybody, please tell me what the fuck is goin' on?"

This was the closest he'd ever been at work to losing the plot for real. There was no script to tell him how to feel, how to react, what to do now. This was his life, their life. The room fell silent, the penetration of Hunter's yelling had brought them all to a halt, the tone of voice indicating that this wasn't something they could ignore.

He felt like everything was stuck in slow motion. The medics parted and his jaw dropped with what he saw before him. There was his lover, his world, in a neck brace and strapped to a spine board on top of a stretcher, unable to move any part of his body because of the restraints that had been placed all over him. The deeply furrowed brow of the staff doctor and how quickly he resumed his animated and anxious chatter on the phone was all Hunter needed to know, his questions were answered then and there.

Tears welled in his eyes and ran slowly down his cheeks. His mind was racing, surely this wasn't really happening. Where was the camera crew recording this for the DVD extras? Where was Vince making a sprained ankle sound like a career ending injury like he always did for this kind of shoot? This couldn't really be happening to Shawn, not after everything they'd been through......

He was brought back to earth by the faint sound of a familiar voice.

"H-Hunter, is that you?"

He pushed his way to the side of the stretcher through the throng of people who were still crowding the room. Reaching out he enveloped Shawn's cold and crooked fingers with his own large hand, gently rubbing to soothe them back to life.

"I'm here baby, I'm here."

Shawn tried to smile, his eyes lighting up with just the sound of his lover's voice nearby. All too soon though a grimace passed over his face, his eyes darting wildly while he bit down on his lip to stop the screams escaping to the point where he almost broke the skin. In trying to lift his head he'd obviously strained something all the more. So many years of pain and still a fiercely proud man thought Hunter, knowing that there was no need for this bravery as everyone understood the pain Shawn was in almost constantly these days.

As the last of the straps was clicked into place Hunter swore to God he would be by Shawn's side no matter what. Leaning down to stroke Shawn's hair he planted a soft and loving kiss on his lips. For a moment the entire situation they were in was forgotten. Shawn had never been more grateful not to be alone and Hunter never more grateful for every moment he shared with the most wonderful person ever to walk into his life.

As they parted lips there was a shock moment of electricity, a connection between them that took them both by surprise. The tears came again, and there was an unspoken acknowledgement that this time it was really serious. Muscle rub and a week off wasn't going to fix everything this time. A strained whisper broke the silence observed by everyone honoured enough to share that moment with them.

"Hunt, my legs.......... I haven't been able to move 'em since they brought me back here......I can't feel a damned thing...."

Gripping his lover's hand tighter Hunter wanted to collapse on top of him and ask what Shawn had done to get roughed up like this. Instead, for the sake of the scared and vulnerable man just inches from him, he blew out a sharp breath to steady himself to be able to speak. Meeting the gaze of the searching eyes below him he forced the words to come out as he gently whispered back.

"I'll look after you baby, ain't nothin' we can't fix between us Shawny. Right?"

Before there was a chance for Shawn to reply a walkie talkie buzzed in the background and announced that the ambulance was finally here. It was go time.

**A/N: I know, I know, this is super angsty and I'm almost sorry about that ;) Playing this through in my mind was hard enough, just hope the words do the scene justice. More to come if anyone wants to read it :) p.s. for those who might not know, Paul is Big Show :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Turn of the Tide (2/??)**

**Author: slashburd  
Pairing: HHH/HBK**

**Rating: M?  
Disclaimer: I do not know of any of this to be true, I don't know or own these people (but I'd secretly love to!).**

**Summary: M/M Slash, bad language, violence**

The ambulance crew gave Shawn a shot to help him 'relax'. Hunter knew exactly what it was for – to stop him moving and doing any more damage before they could get him to the hospital. He gazed down at his lover, and reached again for his hand and although there was no reaction he just wanted to let Shawn know that he was not alone.

The medic travelling in the back asked the usual questions to complete the necessary paperwork and Hunter answered them as best his racing mind would let him, not even noticing the raised eyebrow when he gave his status as 'partner'.

"So Mr Levesque, can you tell me how the incident happened?"

This final question though was the hardest to answer. He closed his eyes and rested his head back against the side of the ambulance, preparing to recount the incident that he wished to God he'd never seen. It was fortunate that the nearest hospital was a few country miles away as he struggled and stammered over the words and images that came with them.

***

The tension had been building between the two tag teams for a few weeks. Jericho had gone to Vince around a month ago with a great idea for a plot line to get the tag side of the business back up to the main event. The theory was that as DX had never held the titles before they were the ideal opponents for a seemingly unstoppable Jerishow. It made sense and the story would be huge with the fans making for a good headline match for the next PPV.

The promos they'd cut had been good, in fact the crowd reaction was great with plenty of heat for Jerishow just as Vince had hoped. In a few of the run-ins though both Shawn and Hunter noticed that Paul was a little bit over the top, running off script with both his words and the in-ring action. More than once he'd tagged Shawn with a punch or crossed the line with the way he handled him. When challenged about it he'd apologised and they'd agreed to leave it at that. Hunter just didn't get it. He'd known Paul for a long time and had never seen him this out of character. It was this that had driven him to provide a little insurance under the ring for their match.

The bell rang that night and they got down to it. The rehearsals earlier in the afternoon had gone off okay and they relaxed into their roles. Hunter was in first with Paul and although he wasn't due to cop for the big right hand yet he felt a couple of the slaps coming in at full tilt and they stung like hell. Shortly after being backed into one of the corners he felt one of the punches being thrown connect with his face. His cheek throbbed and he knew that he needed to tag out to get his head together.

He went to tag Shawn in who had seen that it was going badly and whispered "What is his fucking problem?" With a shrug Hunter indicated that he was none the wiser and he watched Shawn go to work, throwing everything he could at Paul who was selling none of it. Finally he hit the Sweet Chin Music which left Paul no option but to drop to his knees and try to look stunned by it.

Hunter waited at the ring post until Jericho tried to interfere. This was Hunter's cue to go around and stop him, something which should have happened almost 5 minutes ago if Paul had done his job properly.

Running round the outside of the ring he pulled Chris down on to the padded floor and started punching at him wildly until it appeared that he was out cold. Hunter stood above him gloating, raising his arms into the DX cross and taking the cheers from the crowd. He'd taken very little notice of what was going on in the ring. Turning to look he expected to see Shawn with Paul in a roll-up and a two count being slapped out on the mat. Instead there was an empty ring and looking beyond it to the walkway he saw Shawn, high atop Paul's shoulders.

The booing is getting louder and panic strikes Hunter but before he can run back around Shawn is power-bombed to the concrete floor beyond where the padding finishes and to the side of the walkway. Hunter's heart almost stopped for a second when he saw what was happening. Shawn had made an awkward landing and then lay there perfectly still, the slow rise and fall of his chest the only perceptible movement.

Paul got back into the ring in an attempt to get the decision by count-out. This was not what they'd spent weeks planning. Paul screamed for the referee to get back in the ring and start the count. The referee however had bigger concerns. He'd had to follow them out of the ring and repeated frantically his request for them to go back to the ring knowing that they weren't following the script.

Having witnessed at close hand what had happened he was now knelt at Shawn's side asking if he was okay. Repeating the question again he still did not receive an answer. He couldn't wait any longer for the legitimately unconscious man to come round enough to speak. Making the X sign twice above his head it was clear to the entire backstage team that Shawn was in trouble.

Immediately a stretcher was hurtled down the walkway accompanied by four on-site paramedics and the staff doctor. The cameras went back to the ring where the referee was sliding under the ropes to start the count-out of the legal man who laid outside the ring so still as if he were sleeping. Jericho stirred but stayed down as per the rehearsals and Paul stood proud in the middle of the ring, smirking and counting along with the referee.

Off camera Shawn was rolled cautiously onto a spine board and wheeled backstage. Hunter stood near the steel stairs and was torn as to whether to run after the stretcher or carry on with the match.

Turning to glare up into the ring he caught sight of Paul raising 7 fingers in the air, a wide grin spreading across his face. That was when the line was crossed and Hunter reached for the hammer.

He'd almost surprised himself with the force of the blows he inflicted on Paul, not that they weren't thoroughly deserved. What he just couldn't figure out was why there had been such a deviation from the script in the first place. These days Shawn wrestled so few matches that all the rosters had been warned about his injuries and the need to avoid worsening them.

Shawn's health hadn't presented itself as a major in-ring issue before today. Sure Shawn sometimes took the rules and threw them out of the window himself but that was his nature. He pushed his luck and his broken body about as far as it could carry him these days. The guys still sold the gentle contacts as if they'd been hit by a bulldozer and the same went for the near misses with that elbow from the top rope.

If they wanted to slam Shawn they made sure that they landed him on his shoulders to give him a chance to take some of the hit there rather than on his lower back. These guys were like family to Shawn, he'd given nearly all of them a start, a helping hand or some valuable advice. They saw him as the elder statesmen of the roster, having grown up watching him live their dream he was loved if not idolised by most of them. Knowing this made it even harder for Hunter to rationalise why someone would deliberately beat him down like that. What in hell was Paul thinking?

***

The doors of the ambulance swung open and before he knew it the stretcher carrying the most precious thing in the world to him was being wheeled as fast as the crew dared towards the entrance to the emergency room.

Jumping down into the cold night air he went after them, determined to keep his promise to stay with Shawn and, despite not being a religious man, the hundreds of promises he would make to God over the course of that evening to try and cut a deal in return for Shawn to make it through this.

"C'mon God, give me a fuckin' break here. Not now, not like this...."

**A/N: So, the plot thickens. Now we know how it's time to start working on the why. All reads, reviews and comments appreciated :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Turn of the Tide (3/??)**

**Author: slashburd  
Pairing: HHH/HBK**

**Rating: M?  
Disclaimer: I do not know of any of this to be true, I don't know or own these people (but I'd secretly love to!).**

**Summary: M/M Slash, bad language, violence, angst**

Sitting alone in the empty waiting room made Hunter feel even more anxious. From the injuries he'd sustained himself over the years of his pro career he knew that it was never a good sign when the next of kin were kept out of the treatment rooms. He'd already let an upset sounding Vince know the latest which was essentially that he knew nothing but would keep them updated when he knew more. It'd taken him almost twenty minutes to talk Vince out of making the journey to the hospital. The only thing that scared Hunter more than dealing with this alone was having to talk to someone else about how he was feeling and just how terrified he was that Shawn wasn't going to make it.

He thought back to when he and Steph were together and he'd busted up his knee. She'd latched on to him all the time he was at the hospital and wouldn't leave, not that they'd even asked her to. With a wry smile he thought back to those days and the life they'd led, every bit the model couple and eventually the model family of the business. Looking back he probably had a lot to thank Kurt Angle for. If he'd not been able to sweet talk Steph into bed then he and Shawn might never have made it to where they were now. Vince had taken some getting used to the idea but his desire for money and success had always compromised any moral issues he'd had with Hunter and Shawn's personal lives.

The more Hunter pondered the situation he concluded that where they were now was probably the biggest high and lowest low of their life together. Doing what they loved as a couple, never being lonely on the road, happy with their careers and each other but now this. Something just had to come along and mess it all up.

He rolled the long-empty vending machine cup between the palms of his hands absent mindedly. In the last few hours he'd done anything he could to distract himself from the heartache he felt and the recurring thought that he'd give anything to change places and take all the pain on his shoulders instead. He wished Shawn was sat beside him, although if he had been he was sure there would be comments passed about him drinking vending machine coffee.

The one thing Shawn had changed most about his life since he was born-again was the way he treated his body. No drugs, very little caffeine or alcohol – he was bordering on turning into CM Punk at times. The daily Starbucks run drove him mad but Hunter had always been a coffee junkie. He closed his eyes and thought about yesterday's stop off, hearing Shawn's voice crystal clear in his head.

*

"Don't drink that shit baby. Hell, it looks like old tar, it smells like new tar and...... Hunter, Hunt, get back here! Awww dammit that didn't mean go and get a-goddamn-nother one did it!"

Ignoring the warnings Hunter had already ducked out of the car and headed back to the cafe doorway, even Shawn's yelling not holding him back. "You know you'll regret it when you're crazyin' out later and I'm gonna have to kick your ass to calm you down. I give the hell up on you Hunt...."

At times they did drive each other crazy but that was part of who they were. And the coffee helped Hunter cope with their life; Shawn found Jesus, Hunter found Java.

Hours after getting back home Hunter was, as predicted, totally hyper. Their match had done nothing to slow him down and the adrenaline turbo-charged the caffeine through his system. Shawn had him pinned to the bed, laughing wildly as they both struggled to get the upper hand. Straddling his lover Shawn leant down and whispered his "I told you so." prompting Hunter to try and roll out from underneath him. In a tangle of arms, legs, long hair and laughter they fell to the bedroom floor, kissing and grabbing at each other's clothes. The frantic and passionate sex they'd had finally grounded Hunter again and afterwards he rested his face on his lover's chest, the soothing feeling of his hair being stroked sending him off into a deep dreamless sleep.

*

Right now yesterday seemed like a lifetime ago. How could it be that so few hours ago they were wildly reacting to each other's touch and yet now, they couldn't even be in the same room together? Hunter rubbed his furrowed brow and leant back in the chair, his fingers interlocked behind his head. He wished now that he could lean back against Shawn's chest like they did at home, that safe feeling of their love was not there to give him the comfort he needed and boy, did he feel lost and lonely. Lost, lonely and scared.

He checked the clock on the wall again. It was now 4am and he'd not heard anything for hours. Slowly he rose to his feet and walked over to the desk where he waited patiently for the kindly faced assistant to finish on the phone.

"Can I help you Sir?"

"Yeah, em, I'm trying to find out how my partner's doin'. We came in together a coupla hours ago and I've sat here ever since and nobody's told me what's goin' on."

Taking Shawn's details down she rang several extension numbers before she finally got an answer.

"Hi Karen, its Briony down in the ER waiting room here. I have the next of kin of a Mr Hickenbottom with me here asking for an update. Yes, that's him. Stage name, uh huh. Yes, I...... oh...... erm, that I did not know."

Her face fell and Hunter's heart skipped a beat, the worry in voice and actions was clear to see and hear.

"Ok, and when was that? Do we have any further update? And when can I send Mr Levesque up to see him? Right, I'll pass that on. Thanks Karen."

She looked at Hunter, a look of sympathy present in her eyes. She'd seen this reaction so many times, the frozen eyes and stifled desperation of anyone left in this room while the doctors did their best or came with the news to expect the worst. It was always harder for the men she decided, they didn't like to be seen crying and making a scene so they bottled it all up and ended up like this.

She began to speak but Hunter was so concerned with the look she had given him that he didn't register a single word she said to him. Reaching to the top of the desk she put her hand over his and this seemed to break the trance he was in. "Are you okay honey? Shall we go and sit down and I'll tell you 'bout what's going on?" Hunter mustered a weak smile and allowed himself to be guided back to the seating area.

"Now what my colleague was saying is that Shawn is in recovery now after his surgery...."

"Surgery! They had to operate?"

"Yes, and that's all been taken care of now. The doctor is going to come down and see you in a couple of minutes and explain it all a bit more clearly. You just sit here and when he comes down I'll be sure to send him over to you. Alright darlin'?"

With a half nod of his head she went back to her job behind the desk and Hunter's worried expression began to crack as the tears welled in his eyes. Just what kind of damage had been done to need immediate surgery? Why hadn't they told him that Shawn needed surgery at all? His mind raced, already scared that Shawn would be paralysed, knowing that Shawn would almost certainly prefer to be dead than crippled.

The image of the impact with the arena floor just would not clear from his head, playing over and over again like a stuck record. The thought that the man he loved was injured almost within his reach and there hadn't been a damned thing he could do to stop it distressed him. If only he'd been closer or quicker, anything that might have changed the outcome.

Hunter used his t-shirt to soak up the water in his eyes that was threatening to stream down his cheeks. He didn't want anyone to see him like this. If he pretended not to be worried it would make things better. Or at least make him feel better.

A door opened just ahead of him and a tall balding man came through it, dressed in scrubs and holding a chart in his hand. The assistant gestured towards Hunter and the man approached him.

"Mr Levesque I assume?"

"Yeah, yeah.... that's me, folks call me Hunter though."

"Ok, Hunter it is. I'm Dr. Lee, Consultant Orthopaedic Surgeon. And you're Mr Hickenbottom's partner?"

"Yeah Mr Hic... – could you call him Shawn, its just a bit less, clinical y'know."

"No problem. Now as you know Shawn was in a pretty bad way when he was brought in earlier and we carried out some emergency tests and scans. They revealed that his spinal column was trapped between some slipped and herniated discs in his back. I believe that's the main reason why he'd lost movement and feeling in his lower body. Now, we had to carry out some pretty major damage limitation......"

"You mean you fixed him up, right?"

"Well, as best we could with the state he was in. You need to understand that with the pre-existing injuries he had that this might not work but we've done the best we can. We're just grateful that he made it through the surgery so far, but he's not out of the woods yet. He's clearly neither a quick or a good healer and looking at the condition of some of his joints a lot of men wouldn't even be able to walk around, let alone carry on as a professional wrestler."

"He's a pretty special kinda guy......" Hunter spoke softly and fiddled with the white gold band on his ring finger. He was aware that he was professing his love for Shawn at a most inopportune time but it was done now and the doctor didn't seem phased by it. Whether he didn't see the blush rising up Hunter's cheeks or just chose not to acknowledge it was anybody's guess.

"His hip had dislocated so as soon as we had the pins, plates and brace in place we popped that back in. Now we're not sure how its going to work out with his nerves. In some places the cord was pretty well crushed and even in a young healthy man its not always guaranteed it'll return to normal. That's what I meant by damage limitation. We simply don't know how he'll be until he wakes up and we can get him weight bearing on it again."

A long breath escaped from between Hunter's pursed lips. He struggled to take on board so much information with the state his brain was already in.

""Wowwww. Jesus, I, er, had no idea it was this bad. And is all this from the bump tonight?"

"Well it's difficult to tell for certain as the damage was extensive but the internal bruising ties in with the reported impact so I would be confident in saying that its caused most of it. Why'd you ask?"

"Ahhhh, its just, well, it needs reporting to the management so we can take more safety precautions y'know." Hunter was lying through his teeth now. He really wanted a few moments to calculate how much more of a beating he'd need to give Paul in repayment for what he'd done.

"Now Shawn is in a private room on the post-op unit if you'd like to come and sit with him for a while. I don't want him to have company long or a stream of visitors as he'll be very sensitive to infections for a little while with all those stitches. He's also under heavy sedation to limit his movements and to be honest it's going to be a couple of days before we bring him round fully to be able to hold a conversation. We need to give his brain and the wounds some time to recover. So, if you want to follow me, we'll get you two back together."

They stood but Hunter appeared frozen to the spot. Sensing the trepidation in Hunter's anxious movements the doctor put hand on Hunter's shoulder and gave him a gentle squeeze. "Now you'd better know that he's not going to look too pretty but lets go and see him, get the shock out of the way and then we'll both concentrate on getting him back on his feet again. Okay?"

Hunter nodded his silent agreement, grateful for the small amount of physical comfort offered by the human contact, bracing himself to line up another difficult image in his mind. It didn't matter though. Shawn needed faith, strength and love now to make it through and it was down to Hunter to provide it. That's all he could do for him now and, taking a deep breath, he strode forward and through the doors ahead, on his way to see the man he loved.

**A/N: So if Shawn pulls through how bad will it be and what's Hunter going to do if he does or if he doesn't? All reads, reviews and feedback appreciated :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Turn of the Tide (4/??)**

**Author: slashburd  
Pairing: HHH/HBK**

**Rating: M?  
Disclaimer: I do not know of any of this to be true, I don't know or own these people (but I'd secretly love to!).**

**Summary: M/M Slash, bad language (lots, but in context), violence, angst**

Lowering himself into the chair at the side of the bed Hunter took a moment just to look at Shawn. A bank of screens and monitors flanked the opposite side of the bed, each connected up to Shawn somehow. The low repetitive beep of the heart monitor was the most comforting noise he'd heard for some hours, it meant Shawn was at least still alive. He wished that he could just get onto the bed, take Shawn in his arms and whisper to him that it would all turn out okay but he knew that wasn't going to be possible for some time yet.

Dr Lee told him he had an hour and then that was it, he could stay but not in the room. On hearing the door close behind him Hunter gingerly reached out for Shawn's hand, comforted that this time the fact that it was warm and relaxed, even if the latter was down to the sedatives. He couldn't help but recall the many mornings he'd laid awake and watched the gentle rise and fall of his partner's chest, enraptured by the peaceful look that swept over his face when he slept. Looking at Shawn's face now the look was almost there but rudely disturbed by the breathing tube he'd had inserted and a slight furrow of his brow.

"Hey, Shawny. It's me, Hunter. Just wanted to let you know that I'm here, I've been here all the time, waitin' to see you. The doctor says you're gonna be just fine, and he seems like a good guy, we're all pullin' for you here........"

His words trailed off as the tears finally fell down his cheeks. He didn't know if Shawn could hear him, if he even knew who was talking to him or what was being said but that didn't seem to matter now. The reality of seeing the love of his lifetime so battered, bruised and fragile shook Hunter to his core. What would he do without Shawn if the worst happened?

He shuffled the chair closer to the bed so that he could rest his head against the back and still keep contact with Shawn. After checking through the window that the nurse had gone back to the station across the corridor he closed his eyes and cried, violent burning sobs escaping from the pit of his stomach. He knew he was meant to be being all solid and strong but right now, he just didn't feel that way.

This outpouring of all his emotions carried on for over ten minutes and although he felt bad that he'd not been able to suck it up and carry on he knew that Shawn would understand why he was like this. Finally burning out Hunter mopped his face with a handful of tissues he'd grabbed from the bedside cabinet, blew his nose loudly and with a deflating and almost defeated sounding sigh allowed his head to dip in prayer.

He often prayed with Shawn, not that he ever really believed that it could make any difference. The only thing he'd ever had to thank God for was Shawn so it seemed somehow appropriate to ask for help with this aspect of his life.

"Now God, you know that me and you don't always see eye to eye. I've never really asked nicely, I know I've asked for things I wanted rather than needed and you've never really done me any great favours. However, this man here, well he's the one thing you brought me that I needed and I can't tell you how grateful I am for that. He believes stronger than anyone I've ever known. You brought him back from the edge once, and maybe for me, but mainly for him, I'm wonderin' if you'd consider steppin' in to do the same again.

Now I know its a lot to ask and I'm sure that you've got other things to be dealing with than a lousy asshole like me asking for favours I probably don't deserve but hey, if there's a string you can pull, a deal I can make, anything at all to make this right, well, I'd appreciate that right now. I don't know if I should say Amen now or just get right down on my knees and beg but I swear now I would do anything, anything at all to take his pain away. Can't you just cut us some slack here, just make him well ag.............."

*

Before he had the chance of finishing his rambling prayer he heard a commotion starting outside in the corridor. Not wanting to leave Shawn for the rest of their precious and limited time together he decided to stay put and let whatever it was pass, it wasn't his concern and there as plenty of security around to sort stuff like that out. The only battle he wanted to fight was happening right there in the room they were both enclosed in. The nurse was shouting and he assumed that there was an emergency in one of the other rooms. Bowing his head again he concentrated on how to end his prayer to give it the best chance of being answered.

Without warning the door of the room flew open, banging back against the wall. Hunter looked up and, unable to believe what he saw, closed his eyes and shook his head. He looked again and there in front of him, filling the entire door frame was Paul, panting and swatting away the nurse who was frantically trying to tell him that he wasn't allowed in and shouldn't be there, screaming for her colleagues to call security.

Hunter brought Shawn's hand up to his face and kissed the back of it gently, savouring the second of warmth and familiarity he felt from the contact of his lover's skin on his lips. Resting the hand back down on the soft white cotton sheets he took a deep breath, whispered "I love you", stood up and flew at Paul for all he was worth.

He speared Paul back through the open door and out onto the cold tiled floor. Paul was clearly winded by the impact of two hundred and fifty pounds of sheer determined hate hitting him in the midriff. Hunter knelt with one knee on the floor and the other dug deep into Paul's chest and the punches he began to flow. There were no feints or slight tags this time, these were so real that within the space of three blows blood had started to spill from the nose and lips the punches landed so squarely on.

Still struggling to get his breath back Paul was startled by the impact and the pain he could feel. He lay there, eyes screwed shut, totally defenceless as the punches continued to land. He didn't notice Hunter standing up and swinging the first of a string of kicks into his side until he was sure he heard one of his ribs shattering.

Just as he was lining up another kick Hunter felt his shoulders being grabbed at by several pairs of hands. He fought the bodies attached to those hands for all he was worth but as they slammed him against the wall Shawn came back into sight through the window. A deep ache consumed him just looking at his broken lover, an ache that stopped him shoving and trying to get away.

Hunter wondered for a second what the hell he was doing. He knew this was no way to be acting when he should be in there with Shawn but the sight of Paul and the audacity he'd shown by even turning up to the hospital had made Hunter lose all grip on reality for those few minutes. He was so desperate to start punishing Paul that when the mist had descended for the second time in twenty four hours there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"Just what in the name of fuck do you think you're doing here? You're a fucking animal – get off the fucking floor and look through that window and see if you feel like a big man now. You lousy, unprofessional fucker I oughta kill you stone fucking dead right now for what you've done to him."

Hunter had stopped short of shouting but the menacing tone to his voice made his message so abundantly clear that a raised voice was not needed.

"I said get up!"

Paul was still writhing in pain on the floor, more security supervising his limited movements. He looked up at Hunter, his face racked with pain and through gritted teeth he finally spoke.

"You're so fucking blind aren't you Hunter, everything is so damned perfect in your life but you really can't see past the end of your damned nose can you? He deserved every bit of what I did to him, you'll see."

Hunter made a break for it but the uniformed men stood strong, holding him back.

"What's that meant to mean? How fuckin' sick are you, nearly killing him and then coming here to gloat? Just where do you get off on this you sick bastard? If I get my damned hands on you I'll tear you apart. Come on big man, lets finish this now, try pickin' on someone closer to your own fucking size...."

He began to struggle again and after some more scuffling Hunter was slammed back against the wall, this time never breaking the icy stare that was directed at Paul who had finally been helped to his feet by the men surrounding him.

Paul rubbed his lip and looked down at the dark blood that came off on it, wincing with the pain of contact with the badly split skin. He risked speaking again, this time with a softer voice and an almost pleading look on his face.

"Look Hunter, I've known you for a lot of years, and I.... I just don't want you to get hurt again, okay. I know what I did was wrong but he deserved it, he really did. I really just came to give you this. It might just save you a whole lot of heartache and wasted hours of waiting...I've done it myself and I can't ever get that time back. Be smart, get out while you can."

Paul reached inside his jacket and the security guards moved their hands to their waists, not knowing what to expect. Not wanting to risk getting tazered or shot Paul put his hands up. "It's just an envelope guys, nothing to panic about – pat me down if you like."

One of the guards moved forward and frisked Paul's upper body, finding nothing suspicious. He nodded to the others and they cautiously relaxed, still watching intently to make sure that there were no nasty surprises coming.

Again Paul pulled his jacked open and after delving into the inside pocket withdrew a folded white envelope.

"Can you pass that over for me?" He gestured towards the guard who had patted him down and nodded in Hunter's direction, deciding wisely to keep his distance. The man took the envelope and as he tried to pass it over Hunter snatched it out of his hand. Without even looking at it, let alone opening it, he stuffed the envelope in the back of his pants and using the same low, clear tone spoke again.

"Well now you've done what you came here to do why don't you turn around and get out of here before I kick your ass. I hope you're proud of yourself man. Real proud."

Paul shook his head and a fleeting smile crossed his lips then fell away.

"Hunter, listen to me. You have a good look at what's in that envelope and then we'll talk again I'm sure. You've got my number for when you're ready to talk and trust me, you're going to want to. See you around."

Paul turned and started walking down the corridor towards the exit. He stopped, looked back over his shoulder and all he could see was Hunter with his face pressed against the glass of the window into Shawn's room, clinging on to it by splaying his fingers just to stay upright. Sure Paul felt bad, and maybe his timing did suck but he had to cruel to be kind right?

Right?

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A/N: I hope this is starting to put some more of the story into context now, I promise that it is going somewhere, its just the angsty stuff was needed to set the tone. All reads and reviews appreciated as always :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: Turn of the Tide (5/??)**

**Author: slashburd  
Pairing: HHH/HBK**

**Rating: M?  
Disclaimer: I do not know of any of this to be true, I don't know or own these people (but I'd secretly love to!).**

**Summary: M/M Slash, bad language, angst**

Having taken the advice of the departmental staff Hunter had gone to grab a coffee in the cafeteria and "calm down a little." He snorted at the very thought of someone, anyone telling him to do that when he was watching his lover fight injuries that still might end his life, let alone his career.

The coffee wasn't bad, hot and strong with enough sugar to keep his senses locked on high alert, particularly as he wasn't convinced that Paul had hauled ass from the hospital yet. Shaking his head in disbelief he still couldn't comprehend how Paul had got the nerve to show up. Did the man have no shame, no remorse for what he'd done? Hadn't he seen Shawn laid there covered in wires, drips, bruises?

Hunter had been delaying the moment but he reached around and pulled the envelope out and slapped it down on the table. He wondered what could be inside that was so special, so mindblowing that Paul just had to make a scene about it. With a sigh he picked the envelope up and peeled it open carefully, tipping the contents out onto the table top in front of him.

First was a slip of white card that just bore the word "Sorry" and a telephone number scrawled underneath it. This must be what Paul had meant earlier on. Pushing this to one side he picked up a smaller paper wallet and opened it. Inside were a set of black and white photos. As he could only see the hair atop one of the faces he removed them and began to idly flick through them. He had to know what was so special about them.

The first few were just of a pair of random guys sat at a table in front of a restaurant, food in front of them and it looked as if they were just talking, long trailing hair obscuring one face and the other wasn't clear enough as the man was looking down at his plate and then across towards the restaurant window. Hunter tossed them onto the table and pushed them to one side.

Looking at another picture he could see that one of the men had turned his head in the direction of the camera but was staring off into the distance. He knew that face and he knew it well. It was Jericho.

Hunter had to admit that he was intrigued, still wondering how these snaps had anything to do with him or Shawn. He looked down at the next one in the pile. The men in the photo were standing from the table, a waitress obscuring part of the men's bodies as they appeared to be paying the bill. It was definitely Chris but he still couldn't get a read on the other man. As confused as when he first opened the envelope he moved that one to the back of the pile.

It was then when he looked down and saw the men in an embrace that it hit him. Without speaking, moving or even breathing the feeling of panic set in and rushed up his back setting his skin alight. His hands trembled slightly, eyes wildly scanning the picture for more details, something to prove him wrong, anything that would make it that the picture wasn't true. But nothing came. The other man was Shawn.

*

A glance through the remaining photos showed them getting in the same car, arriving at what he assumed to be Chris' house and Shawn's arm around him as they went up the drive and into the front door. The last one of the set was perhaps the most poignant. Although Shawn had his arm across Chris' shoulders he could see that Chris' arm was wrapped around Shawn's waist, lazily draping his hand onto Shawn's hip.

Hunter flipped back through to the photo of the men holding each other. Chris' head was snuggled into the nape of Shawn's neck, a place in which Hunter thought only he found comfort and love. He couldn't put the picture down, it was as if a glue kept it stuck to his fingers, and as he tried to pull his gaze away to the window, the server on the till or even the floor tiles it kept coming back again and again to the picture in his hand.

Suppressing the urge to rip the table from its moorings and flip it over he leant his elbows on it and wrapped his fingers around the back of his head, closing his forearms against his ears to block out the clang and chatter of people and machinery. He couldn't take this, it had to be some kind of mistake. Shawn would never have done anything like this, he didn't even like Chris as a person, let alone a friend or a lover.

The shock of seeing Shawn in close physical contact with another man was almost more than Hunter could take under the circumstances and the stress that he had been exposed to in the recent hours. The fact that it was Chris Jericho his lover was with made it all the more galling.

It finally sunk into place why Paul had done what he did. His relationship with Chris was known to be on the rocks and if he thought Shawn was some sort of catalyst in that then he was going to be pissed. The hurt look on his face during all the promos, the sly punches and clips he'd given them and the move that had left them at hospital that night finally made a little more sense.

Surely Paul didn't think that Shawn was making a move on Chris? He'd got to know that they were hardly on speaking terms and hadn't been since a run-in a few years ago when Chris refused to put one of the young guys over. Jericho had spent his entire career watching his own back, making sure his position was safe whereas in later years Shawn believed in doing whatever it took to carry the business forward.

They were both ambitious and determined men and their similarity turned out to be what had kept them from being lovers or best friends at any point in their careers. Thinking carefully about what he was assuming Hunter realised that given the evidence in front of him he wasn't so sure that he could have absolute confidence in that statement any more.

Starting to feel claustrophobic Hunter knew he had to get out of the canteen, preferably out of the hospital but he couldn't leave Shawn. He just couldn't. No matter what had happened, no matter what these photos suggested or proved he couldn't leave him here alone. A rush of love came over him and it made him wince, a sharp shiver radiating from his very core.

He couldn't help but wonder whether it was love or fear, hearing Paul's words ringing in his ears: _"It might just save you a whole lot of heartache and wasted hours of waiting...I've done it myself and I can't ever get that time back. Be smart, get out while you can."_

Gathering all the photos and Paul's number back into the envelope he slid the chair away from the table noisily, drawing attention from all occupied corners of the room. He didn't care what anyone thought and shot the nearest person a stony glare. He ran towards the double exit doors, slamming one of them open with his arm and almost knocking out an orderly who was idly chatting to a friend on the other side of the doors.

His mind buzzed, no idea what to do. He stood in front of the elevator that would take him back up to where Shawn was and as he reached out for the call button his hand stopped with an inch to go. He had no idea whether or not he could look at Shawn right now, he had so many questions to ask, so much turmoil that he just didn't know what to do for the best.

Pulling his hand back he didn't call the elevator. Running a hand back over his hair and resting it on the back of his neck he walked slowly towards the entrance to the hospital smelling the wet night air drifting through the automatic doors. Before he knew it he was outside, standing under the canopy that shielded him from the most of the drizzling rain. A light breeze blew some of the moisture towards him and it felt cool and good on his skin. He walked out into the seating area a few metres ahead and felt the fabric of his t-shirt absorbing the rain as he sat on one of the empty benches.

Reaching into his pocket he grabbed his cellphone and opened the address book. He looked at the long list of entries and tried to find someone to ring, someone to talk to. His first instinct was to ring Vince but he decided it was a bad idea. There was no way that Vince would keep his mouth shut or his fists down when he had heard how Paul had crashed the hospital. Frankly Hunter just didn't need this fucked up situation to get any more complicated that it already was.

Cancelling back to the list of numbers his fingers hovered over the number he decided to ring. Taking a deep breath he pressed the call button and waited for the ringing to start. After several rings a groggy voice answered.

"Hey Hunter, are you ok? How's Shawn doing?"

Unable to force the words out Hunter froze, mouth open but making no sound at all.

"Hunter, are you still there? Is everything ok?"

The panic in the voice on the other end of the phone was growing and it was what finally prompted Hunter to speak.

"Shawn's ok, well, he's...I... I need you, I, er, please...can you, hell, you know I hate asking for anything but, I could really use a friend right now...."

The words just spilled out of his mouth and the tears now running fast down his cheeks tasted salty and bitter on his lips. He waited anxiously for the reply, gulping hard to stifle the heartbreak at the back of his throat.

"You sit tight Hunter. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Closing the phone and slotting it into his back pocket he looked up at the hospital and all it made him feel was confused. Hurt and confused.

**A/N: All reads and reviews appreciated and thanks for sticking with me on this :)**


	6. Chapter 6

The warmth of a hand on his arm snapped Hunter out of the trance he'd been in ever since he'd made the call. The rain had continued to come and his hair was wet and straggly, dirty blonde strands clinging to the sides of his face. His clothes were moistened enough to stick close to his skin and he hadn't even noticed that his arms were covered in goosebumps. Dawn was breaking overhead but there was little warmth to the cold and cloudy morning.

"How's about we get you inside man, you're freezing and you're wet through."

Hunter looked up slowly, glad to hear a friendly voice and see a familiar face. His bloodshot eyes and puffy features were a shock to the man he'd made the call to, a clear indication to him that all was not well.

Adam squatted down, taking both of his friend's cold hands in his own, the warmth of his touch making Hunters fingers physically ache.

"Lets go and get some coffee and you can tell me all about it. If you stay out here much longer you'll catch your........."

Stopping short of finishing such an inappropriate sentence Adam shook his head in disbelief at himself.

"Fuck, Hunt, I wasn't thinking. C'mon, its my round and maybe putting something in my mouth with stop me using it and making a bigger idiot of myself."

Slowly rising to his feet Hunter was glad of the support Adam provided at his elbow. He was guided steadily back towards the entrance and a dilemma that he couldn't help but want to run from.

"So, where's the cafe?" Adam was chirpy enough and for a moment Hunter allowed a smile to crease across his lips, he'd called the right person. Someone who was going to drag him along when all he wanted to do was sit and break down. Hunter pointed down the corridor and they began a slow stroll together. "Down this way, but don't get your hopes up, I've had better from a burnt out 7-11."

"If it gets you warmed up I don't care how it tastes. I'm glad you called me. How long have you been sat out there alone? Vince told us to leave you be and he'd let us know what was happening but if I'd known, well, I would have ignored the crazy old bastard and come straight down here. Nobody back at the hotel has had a wink of sleep. You know how much everyone loves you guys, how much I love you both."

Adam spoke with a kindly, concerned tone that comforted Hunter, this man had been a friend for as long as they'd worked together and he knew he could trust him with anything. Hunter pushed open the cafeteria door and they filed in, scanning the now busy room for somewhere to sit. Adam put his arm around Hunter's sodden shoulders and squeezed him, trying to communicate just how much he cared. Gesturing towards a free table Adam let him go.

"Now park your ass Hunt, I'm buying and you're drinking. No arguments, just do it."

Hunter closed his mouth, his protest stifled before it had the chance to begin. In response he merely saluted, bringing a goofy grin to Adam's lips and small creases at the corners of his blue eyes. Once Adam had turned to order the drinks Hunter slumped down onto the hard plastic chair and furtively looked around to see if there were any familiar faces from when he'd stormed out of there earlier on. Luckily enough he didn't recognise anyone and was able to wait for his drink feeling a little more calm about his outburst.

Adam returned with a tray bearing 4 large cups of steaming black coffee and an assortment of chocolate bars. Correctly Adam had assumed that Hunter hadn't had anything much to eat or drink since arriving at the hospital last night. He took two of the cups off the tray and pushed them in Hunter's direction, both men reaching for the necessary additions to make their drinks more palatable. As Adam stirred his drink he waited for Hunter to start speaking. He'd concluded on the drive down that people didn't make phone calls like that when there was nothing wrong.

In truth Hunter felt a little embarrassed by the raw emotion he'd shown in that phone call. He sort of half hoped that Adam would have already driven on to the next show and be too far away or maybe too drunk to drive. Seeing him sat across the table sporting a look of concern meant that the note of desperation in his voice had been noticeable and had driven Adam to come here for him.

Hunter couldn't help but be surprised by how much support Adam was showing considering Shawn was the reason their relationship had come to an end. Maybe this whole situation was payback for the way he'd treated Adam; maybe fate wasn't as ridiculous a notion as he'd once thought.

If Adam hadn't answered or not been able to come then his next pick was Steph. Hunter had no idea why he'd never been able to let go of his ex-lovers and always bent over backwards to stay friends. He wasn't afraid of animosity and arguments but never really trusted anyone not to stab him in the back and preferred to keep his enemies on side wherever possible. He thought he could trust Shawn and had done with his secrets, his thoughts, his fragile emotions but now even that was looking like a bad move.

Adam broke the deadlock first. "So, are you going to tell me what's going on because there's go to be something wrong for you to have called me of all people to come down here."

He spoke as softly as his curiosity would allow, knowing that Hunter easily went on the defensive if he thought he was being pressurised or attacked. All the time they'd been together he'd pressed him for answers about how he felt and where they were going and generally got stonewall silence for his trouble if he went about it the wrong way.

Dropping the damp envelope onto the middle of the tray Hunter rubbed his fingers over it for a moment as if he was trying to erase the images inside. He picked it up and held it out for Adam to take it, waiting until it was out of his hand and then taking a long gulp of the sweet coffee.

"Addy, there's nothing I can say that's going to explain better than what's in that envelope. You open it up and tell me what you think is wrong."

Looking up Adam met the stare he'd felt he was getting. He saw the tears well in the eyes that peered back at him mirroring the upset in his own but for vastly different reasons. Hearing himself called Addy by that familiar voice and in such a soft tone after all this time had struck a chord that he thought had long since gone silent. Slowly his eyelids fell and the tears pricked at his eyes. He remembered the last time he'd been called that by Hunter; it was the day he picked the last of his stuff up when he moved out to be with Shawn. Shaking his head to clear the memories as quickly as he could Adam opened the envelope, hoping that Hunter thought his tears were out of sadness for Shawn rather than what they'd had and lost between them.

Hunter concentrated on holding himself together, a nausea in the pit of his stomach that he was showing the photos to someone else who might reach the same conclusions he had. That would mean that he wasn't being paranoid and was justified in feeling so damned churned up inside. Adam flicked through them, passing the first few without comment as Hunter had done himself. Then he got to the first clear image of one of the men.

"Jericho?"

"Yeah, I reckon."

Hunter noted a raised eyebrow as the next image was carefully reviewed and then watched as Adam's eyes nearly popped out, his jaw dropping for a split second. Their eyes connected again but Hunter soon looked down into the bottom of his almost empty cup.

"Jericho. And Shawn? Nah.... What the fuck does Jericho think he's playing at?"

"The last time I looked Addy it took two to tango."

"Shawn, well, he'd never cheat. You can see it in his eyes that you're everything to him. Surely you see that too. Hunter, he truly wouldn't and especially not with Jericho."

"Just look at the others, then tell me again, ok." The sigh that followed Hunter's words signalled that he wasn't quite as convinced.

After several tense and silent minutes Adam dropped the pictures onto the table, his brow furrowed in the struggle to make sense of what he'd seen.

"Who gave you these?"

"Big – I mean, Paul did. He came here earlier. Said he had something for me and that's what it turned out to be."

Hunter's cheeks started to flush red with the rage inside him, still wishing that he had done more damage to Paul

"What, he brought these here? Are you being serious? He half kills Shawn then turns up here with these. Fuck, man. He's got some serious issues if he thinks anybody would appreciate that, least of all you."

"Well thanks for pointing the fairly obvious out there Addy, but I was kinda hoping for some practical advice about what I should do about all this." Hunter's voice was gentler now. He didn't like asking anyone for help or admitting that he couldn't cope with something on his own. That pride had gotten in the way a lot over the course of his life but he realised that now he hadn't got time for it to interfere.

Adam bowed his head. "Hunt, much as I'd love to I can't give you the answer for this one. These photos..." He gathered them up and flicked them between his finger and thumb. "...to me they're probably just friends having lunch together and heading home for a few drinks or something. Jericho has only got his arm round him because its one of the only guys on the roster who's short enough for him to be able to reach."

The attempt at humour failed abysmally. The laugh he'd hoped for didn't come.

"But if it was just lunch, why didn't he tell me?"

Adam had no answer for that one.

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**A/N: A slower chapter but I still think it was an ok one :) Thanks for sticking with me this far, all reads and reviews appreciated!!**


	7. Chapter 7

Stalking the halls of the hospital like a ghoul for the last week had been slowly taking its toll on Hunter. Dr Lee had been letting him spend more time in Shawn's room but it had been hard going at times, not knowing what to say or what to think in the long and lonely hours. They'd warned him that they were going to withdraw the sedatives and remove the breathing tube two days ago and it seemed to have gone well so far. He'd been started on oxygen instead and although Shawn was expected to come round with no problems he probably wouldn't be too lucid with the amount of painkillers they were going to have to give him.

Hunter's heart had fallen at the news, knowing how much Shawn hated taking any sort of drug that might be addictive or mind altering. Hell, he even hated taking aspirin for a toothache nowadays. This morning he sat quietly at the bedside, alone with his thoughts of what he would say to Shawn when he woke up, not knowing when would be the right time to ask about the photos.

Sure he could ask the minute Shawn's eyes were open but was he going to get an honest answer and was it fair to spring that on him the minute he was back in the room? He could wait for days, weeks maybe, while Shawn started to recover but what if it was true that he was having an affair, what then? Would he just be tolerated until such time as Shawn could engineer a break up or asked to have Chris at his bedside instead? There was no right or wrong answer but Hunter was desperate for some kind of clarity.

A lot of his time had been spent taking stock of what they had, figuring out where Shawn would even find the time to have an affair and trying to deal with his own doubts and demons. He'd chanced being seen publicly with Shawn before he'd left Adam so he could hardly complain too much if an affair truly was the context of the photos he'd seen. After Adam had agreed to go back to the tour yesterday Hunter realised that the whole thing struck too familiar a chord with him. It wasn't nice to be on the receiving end and although he was fairly sure Adam never knew just quite how much Shawn had been a factor in their breakup he still felt guilty about it.

Shawn hadn't known about Adam in the beginning. Nobody really knew about Adam and that was the way they both wanted it. They would sneak around after hours, the illicit nature of their union just added to the thrill. When Shawn made it clear he was interested Hunter had made excuse after excuse not to spend time with Adam but never revealed where he was going or who with, using their secretive arrangement to its full advantage. Things died in the bedroom as he'd felt like he was being unfaithful to Shawn. Looking back on it today it made more sense than it had back then. Hunter could see that he'd been busy falling in love, he just never realised it at the time.

He thought about the commitment ceremony Shawn talked about having and wished that they'd somehow found the time to go through with it. Hunter knew Shawn had been a little apprehensive about bringing the idea up and explained that he just wanted to show the world how much they meant to each other. It turned out that work got in the way of the timing and the planning. Hunter couldn't help but wonder now if they had gone through with it whether or not it would've stopped any of this. Would Shawn have gone running to Jericho for whatever his reasons if Hunter had showed more love, made more love; whatever it would've taken to make him happy enough to stay faithful.

His train of thought was interrupted by the door opening and Dr Lee walking towards the bed accompanied by another doctor and some of the staff nurses.

"Good morning Hunter, how's he been so far today?"

"No sign of movement yet Doc, I'm just sittin' here and hoping, same as I've done since we first came here."

The sadness in his voice was apparent and Dr Lee smiled at him kindly, appreciating just how rough the last few days had been.

"Well I've started a low dose of morphine for the pain but when he does come round if he looks like he's suffering then we'll adjust it till we get him comfortable, okay?"

Hunter nodded, grateful for having an understanding doctor who had had clearly got Shawn's very best interests at heart. As the room emptied again he gazed at Shawn's face, covered in a rough layer of blonde stubble, his blonde mane pulled into a ponytail that draped across a shoulder and fanned out across the white pillow. Hunter thought he looked just like an angel, his facial expression so peaceful now the breathing tube had been removed and replaced with a thin transparent oxygen feed. Over the hours Hunter had been religiously applying Vaseline to the sore lips, his heart aching every time as he wondered just where those lips had been. He scolded himself for thinking such things but no matter how hard he tried the images always resurfaced and his fingers felt like he'd been stroking hot coals.

In his usual reliable way Adam had run home for him earlier in the week and collected a few clean clothes and some other things he needed. When he'd dropped them off they'd stood outside Shawn's room and talked, still unable to find any answers or definite solutions that Hunter could make use of. The last thing Adam had said to him had rung in his ears ever since.

"What if he'd died, Hunter? And how are you gonna feel if he doesn't make it, would any of this matter then? He called for you when he was hurt. You were the one he asked for, wanted by his side. Whatever he's done, that's got to count for something."

Hunter knew that he'd felt nothing other than loved by Shawn in all their time together. The only thing that had ever made him doubt that for a second were those damned photos. If he lost Shawn his life would be empty as it revolved around the man who lit up every waking minute of his days and slept beside him every night. He knew Adam had a point, the kiss they'd shared at the arena as they waited for the ambulance was nothing but love; a pure and special love. Or at least that's how it'd felt. Every time he convinced himself that things were ok the photos felt like they were scratching at his skin through the fabric of his jeans.

Reaching to take Shawn's hand he fiddled with the identity tag that had been clipped around the slender wrist, realising how odd it was to see Shawn's real name written down. Between Hickenbottom and Levesque he realised that they'd done pretty well to be better nown by their ring-names, smirking at the thought of them having kids together and cursing them with a double barrelled name like that. He only called Shawn by his 'Sunday Name' when they were having an argument or if he was feigning deafness like he did every time he was asked to put the trash out or haul his ass faster if they had somewhere to be. Hunter laughed and put his head down onto their joined hands, enjoying the moment and forgetting everything other than where he was and who he was with.

Feeling something tickle against his skin Hunter brushed his hand against his forehead to move the stray hair away but he couldn't find anything to move. Settling his head back down and closing his eyes he felt it again, this time more like a small twitch of movement. He found himself concentrating on the fingers cradled within his own and as he waited anxiously the brush on his skin came again. Looking up towards Shawn's face he was greeted with the sight of two narrowly open slits and dry lips trying to crack the barest trace of a smile.

"Shawn...Shawnie, is...are you...hey, baby...."

The tears welled in Hunter's eyes as he dared to believe for a moment that his lover had woken up and was finally going to make it through. Standing, he moved towards the top of the bed, gently stroking the golden hair atop Shawn's head with his free hand while feeling a single finger rubbing slowly against the palm of his hand.

"It's me, its Hunt, can you hear me Shawnie?"

The desperation in his voice was thick and the thought that he might just be imagining it all tormented him, not daring to call the nurses in until he was sure that he wasn't seeing things. The heart rate monitor started to beep faster and he could see that Shawn was trying to open his mouth in an attempt to speak. Hunter shushed and moved his hand to stroke the side of Shawn's face, the glassy look that made his own eyes sparkle becoming dangerously close to spilling over into hot but happy tears. The relief was almost too much and he felt his hands start to shake, still not daring to believe what was happening.

Slowly he reached for the nurse buzzer, pressing it hard until the light flashed on and off, letting him know it had been registered at the nurse station. Within ten seconds one of the staff was knocking on the door and excusing herself into the room, a wide smile spreading across her face when she saw the one that Hunter had allow to develop on his lips. Nodding she ducked back out side and called for someone else to join her and for Dr Lee to be beeped. She and another kindly faced nurse came into the room and went straight over to the bedside, checking the monitors and flipping charts that contained the rest of the information about Shawn.

The stroking in his hand carried on and he mirrored it in his own deliberate manner until Dr Lee arrived and asked if he could give them a few minutes with Shawn just to check a few things over. Hunter leaned down and planted a kiss on Shawn's forehead and whispered to him.

"I love you Shawn, I'm not going far, just lettin' these folks look you over, ok?"

The pressure of the finger against his palm let him knew Shawn had heard him even if he couldn't be sure that what he'd said had been understood. Slipping his fingers away he turned and walked towards the door, the tears now rolling down and falling onto his shirt. At least Shawn was alive and awake. All he had to do now is figure out if he was still his.

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**A/N: Thanks for sticking with me, hope you enjoyed this chapter, all reads and reviews appreciated as always :)**


	8. Chapter 8

_Thanks to everyone for their continued love, reads and reviews for this fic, I really do appreciate it all. Hope you enjoy this ch. too *loves everybody*_

* * *

Hunter always felt safe when he was cocooned in the metal shell of his Jeep and today was no different. There was something he needed to do and nowhere else seemed like quite the right place to do it.

Emptying out the contents of the dreaded envelope onto the passenger seat he plucked out the piece of card that bore Paul's number. Grabbing his cellphone from his pocket he carefully dialled the number into it and his finger hovered over the call button. Even now, having believed he'd made the decision to do it, he didn't know whether or not to actually make the call. For every shred of him that claimed to love Shawn unconditionally there was an opposite and equal number that felt betrayed and wouldn't permit the love to permeate them until this was all sorted out.

Knowing that he would never have peace of mind until the issue was resolved he seized the moment, hit call and held the phone to his ear waiting for the ringing tone and ultimately the voice to appear on the other end. It rang for almost a minute before there was an answer and at first he thought it had gone to voicemail. No such luck.

"Hello?"

"Paul, its Hunter."

"Hey Hunter. So you finally decided to call huh? I knew you would eventually."

The smug tone did not sit well with Hunter and although he wanted the maximum amount of information from Paul he knew he had to set his stall out early. He hadn't called to have salt rubbed into his wounds.

"Lets get one thing straight here Paul, I don't give a fuck about anything except Shawn, these goddamned photos and why the fuck you hurt him like you did. Anything else, I'm not interested in, especially your pathetic gloating. Do I make myself clear?"

Paul sensed that he was not going to get his moment of glory from Hunter over this, he'd clearly not called to say thanks for letting him know and from the sounds of it intended to fight Shawn's corner. In the back of his mind he almost felt some kind of sympathy for the other man. He'd tried and failed to fight for Chris so if anyone should be understanding of the situation it was him. The main thing dissolving his sympathy was Hunter's attitude and that clearly wasn't going to change anytime soon.

"Okay, okay. Look, we need to get this sorted out and then we can both move on with our lives. Hunter, I know I didn't necessarily do the right thing bringing them to you in the hospital but I meant what I said. I didn't want you wasting your time on someone that thinks so little of you that they're playing around behind your back."

The words felt as if they were slapping Hunter in the face. He'd tried not to look at the pictures too much in the last few days; tried not to think about what they meant or how they could be interpreted. Talking to Paul was making avoiding that so much harder.

"First off, where did you get these from? Did you hire someone to follow them?"

"They were just sent to me at home. I got them from a courier and the note inside just said that they were from a concerned friend. Hell, I know a lot of people in the business couldn't believe that someone like Chris could be interested in someone like me and they warned me off a few times. Turns out they were right. So, does Shawn know that you've seen them? I heard he woke up. I'm glad he's...okay, y'know."

"No, I haven't spoken to Shawn about them yet. It didn't really seem appropriate while he's wired up to machines and barely able to hold a conversation that includes his own name. And I'm warning you now, don't even think about telling him yourself or I'll gladly put you where he's laid today, understand? Whether or not these photos mean anything I still want him to get well and as quick as he can. So what the hell did Jericho have to say when you asked him about them?"

A period of silence grew awkward between them and no answer came from Paul.

"Well, Hunter, I..."

Paul tried to hide the hesitation in his voice but failed miserably.

"You haven't fucking asked him have you? Instead you nearly kill Shawn and then dump this shit on me. I can't believe this!"

"Hunter, its not that simple. If you can't ask Shawn how can I ask Chris?"

"Because, Paul, your partner hasn't been laid up dependent on fucking life support has he? HAS HE?"

Hunter was quickly losing patience with the pathetic sounding man on the other end of the phone. Rubbing at the tension building in his neck he wished he'd not made the call and just dumped the photographs, forgetting that they'd ever existed. The last of his words had growled angrily from his lips and again, there was no response from Paul.

"I'll assume that's a no then Paul shall I? I'll tell you what, you go and ask your precious Chrissy just what the fuck he was playing at, come back and tell me what kind of piss poor excuse he comes up with and maybe then we'll talk. When you can man up and sort your shit out then maybe, just maybe, I'll go ask Shawn."

"Hunter, you don't know how hard this is. Truth is, things haven't been great between us for a while and those photos just, well, they just proved that I was right to be worried. For months I've been wondering where he's been going, what he's been doing when he's sneaked out at all hours of the day when we've been at home and on the road. Every time I asked him all I got was cryptic answers which were nothing but lies. I know where he's been. He's been with Shawn. You know it and I know it. "

Paul felt a sadness sweep over him. During those turbulent months he had waited patiently at home or in the hotel for Chris to return. He always came home but sometimes it was pretty late or in the early hours. Sometimes he'd smell of alcohol but there was never any trace of anyone else. No texts or calls as he'd taken to secretly checking Chris' cellphone after he went to sleep. He'd turned a blind eye to whatever it was that Chris was up to and tried to carry on as normal until the arrival of the photos.

"So you know about the photos, you think he's been foolin' around and you still haven't asked him about it all? Like I said, you decided it'd be easier to hurt Shawn to get back at Chris instead. That's sicker than when you came to the hospital. You need help man, serious help."

"Look Hunter, don't pretend that you wouldn't have done the same to Angle back then if you hadn't been so damned wrapped up in getting your claws into Shawn. The only reason you didn't beat him down is because he gave you an opportunity, a get out clause. Truth hurts, huh? And while we're at it, I bet you're dying to beat Shawn down for what...."

That was the final straw. Hunter snapped his phone shut, ending the call before he either got further embroiled into the argument or let another one of the barbed comments sting like that last one had. Sure, he'd been glad of a way to get rid of Steph that didn't cost him his career or paint him as the bad guy but he would never have laid a finger on her, the same way he wouldn't with Shawn. For all his touted aggression he'd never once hit someone he claimed to love and had no intentions of starting now, especially not on the advice of someone like Paul who, Hunter thought, was growing more unhinged every day.

As he thought about what Paul had to say he wondered whether or not he was truly wasting his time playing the dutiful partner at the bedside. Shawn had been the darling of the locker room for as long as Hunter had known him and it was widely recognised that most of them had tried their luck with him over time. Hunter had played a different game, waiting in the shadows until Shawn realised how he felt and in time, how they felt for each other. It had been so natural and unforced that it was surely meant to be, or so he'd thought. Now as he looked at the damning images for the umpteenth time Hunter felt himself welling up, wondering just how it had all come to that. His lover in the arms of someone like Chris Jericho of all people.

After a few minutes spent wiping at his eyes and gathering everything back into the envelope Hunter stashed the package under his seat in the car and decided to head back into the hospital. Shawn had been awake for a few days but had been sedated to a degree throughout. Their conversations had been short, mainly relating to what day it was, minimal ventures into what had happened and lots of carefully worded talk about the nature and severity of his injuries. Although feeling had started to return in one of his legs there was no significant improvement in the other which was of concern to both of them and Dr Lee as well.

Climbing slowly out of the car he walked towards the entrance of the hospital and stopped to buy a bunch of flowers from the shop near the elevators. The small room Shawn had been moved to was quiet but very plain and he thought that they might cheer the space up a little. As he walked into the elevator alone he cursed himself for still caring so much about Shawn when from what Paul had told him about Chris' recent behaviour it was looking more and more likely that the photographs represented his worst nightmare. Try as he might though there did not appear to be any respite from his love for Shawn which drove him to come and spend every day at the hospital.

The nurses with whom he'd become so friendly and familiar chatted with him briefly, giving their usual mixture of progress updates about the night Shawn had had coupled with their genuine enquiries as to how Hunter himself was bearing up. They'd looked after both of them throughout, offering tea and sympathy during the extended hours he'd spent sat alone patiently and still caring now, his devotion to Shawn both clear and impressive to them all. He left the flowers with them to be put into a vase and turned the corner towards Shawn's room. For a moment he paused, partly to sort out his tangled hair but mainly to steel himself for the conversation he feared they would end up having if Shawn looked up to it.

As he walked through the door Shawn was laid in his usual position surrounded by a barrage of pillows that bolstered him in and reduced the strain on his back. A broad smile broke across his face as Hunter walked in as it always did and he raised his hand to wave, a gruff but friendly "Hey there!" echoing in the room. Taking his usual position in the chair at bedside Hunter took the waving hand in his own and kissed the slender fingers, brushing them against his face to feel them against his skin. He did that every day, the ritual somehow becoming his way of saying hello and helping to keep a lid on his emotions by silencing them with the feeling of love the gesture brought.

"So, how you bearing up Shawnie? They tell me you had a good night?"

"Yeah, it was one of the better ones. Still can't feel that leg properly yet though. It's bothering me Hunt. What if it never comes back huh?"

Hunter could see the fear in the watery blue eyes as they peered at him through the bright sunlight that filled the room. For all his angelic looking qualities Shawn had the appearance of a broken man. Hunter knew that his job was to offer the platitudes and reassurance needed even though he may not believe it himself.

"Shawn, its early days. Dr Lee says you're doing great and he knows his stuff. He's a good guy and used to dealing with this sort of injury. The best thing is what you're doing. Resting up and concentrating on getting better. Besides which, you have to get better. You can't kick my ass with only one good leg."

Their laughter broke the silence of the room and the tension of the moment. The look they exchanged proved that they both knew that it wasn't going to be that simple. The road to recovery was looking like being one fraught with trials and tribulations that neither knew if they were strong enough to cope with but for vastly different reasons.

"Hunter, can I ask you something?"

Shawn's tone was low and serious in stark contrast to their momentary lighter mood.

"Y-yeah, course you can sexy boy. What is it?"

"I just wanted to know if you'd spoken to Paul about why he did this to me. I mean, at first I thought it was an accident but the more I remember about that night I don't know that it was. He said some stuff to me when I got in the ring but I can't remember any of it Hunt. Its playin' on my mind that I must've done something to upset him. I've been friends with that big goof for years and then this? Gees, I don't know what to think...."

Hunter's mind raced with what answer to give. Inside he was fighting the urge to use this as his chance to bring everything up and get the truth. His main problem was that it would mean coming clean about the photos and he wasn't sure he was ready for that himself. Actually asking the question would make it so much more real than he wanted it to become. For now it was happening to someone else. He'd been able to concentrate his efforts on being there for Shawn and to change that just seemed like the thing he wanted to do least in the world.

"Well, er, we don't know yet Shawn. He's clearly got some kind of problem but with the show having moved on I haven't had a chance to see him. I know Vince has been giving him all kinds of hell but he still thinks it was just an accident. Maybe I was. I don't know Shawn. I really don't."

The ramble of lies had tripped off his tongue far more easily than he would've liked. The truth had retreated and made its way to the back of his mind where it had been lurking since that first night at the hospital. Hunter knew that he had to get out of there before he faced any more awkward questions that he didn't want to answer with anything but the truth.

"Well, I suppose he had his reasons either way. The Lord works in mysterious ways so I'm told."

Shawn's words hung heavy in the room and he smiled sadly, closing his eyes as the silvery trails of tears running down his cheeks appeared on the soft skin.

Instinctively Hunter reached to wipe away the moisture and stroked his lover's face gently to try and soothe the emotional pain he was clearly in, knowing then there was nothing he could do but make things worse if he insisted on seeking the truth. In the moments of silence he contemplated what his next move should be and drew a blank.

Before long the rise and fall of Shawn's chest slowed and the barely audible snores were the only sounds other than the background noises from outside in the ward itself. Hunter stood and leant over the bed, planting a gentle kiss on one of the cheeks that still bore the dried streaks of the silent tears. His own sadness was starting to overwhelm him and getting out of the room suddenly seemed like the most important thing in the world. He left the room without disturbing the peaceful slumber that had consumed Shawn and stopped at the nurse station letting them know he was sleeping and to leave the flowers until he woke up.

The all too familiar elevator ride soon delivered Hunter to the main entrance and he called to pick up a coffee on the way out, needing something familiar and comforting to take the edge off what he was feeling. Arriving back at the car he got in and tuned the radio to the local station where the country and western music that Shawn loved so much was the order of the day every day. He listened to the woeful tales of absent wives, broken hearts and eternally promised true love until the coffee went cold in his hands. Depositing it in the cup holder he reached for the envelope that burned underneath his seat like fire. He withdrew the photographs within and lined them up neatly together in a pile.

With one movement they were torn clean in two down the middle, Shawn on one side of the torn images and Jericho on the other. Hunter had reached the point where the pictures couldn't tell him anything more than he already knew or needed to know. His next port of call needed to be a step closer to the truth but nothing that would distress Shawn any more. As he turned the key and kicked the engine over the last bars of the latest done-me-wrong-song played out. It was then that he knew what he had to do.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry its taken me so long to update this but I'm determined that I've got to be happy with every chapter as I really do care about how this reads and works out. It's all because Shawter = love! All reads and reviews truly appreciated as always. **


	9. Chapter 9

_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?  
Are you gone and onto someone new?_

~~x~~

Hunter watched the screen intently, barely even blinking as he took in every detail of what it was showing him. The match was going well, the crowd lapping up every move and showing their loud appreciation. Two men swung each other around the ring in the bizarre ritual that only professional wrestlers and their fans could appreciate. The difference between their styles was almost engulfing but it was seemingly entertaining enough.

It had taken some convincing from Hunter for creative and Vince to buy that there was going to be enough heat to carry a televised two heel match but they trusted his judgement and luckily he was not wrong. He smirked as he watched the crowd leap from their seats as the pump kick connected with Jericho's face and he dropped to the floor as if he'd just been shot. It had connected beautifully and Sheamus stood above the motionless body with his arms aloft before beating the hell and the yell out of his chest.

The gorilla was pretty quiet as the match he'd just watched had been the last of the night. As Sheamus appeared through the curtain Hunter strode forward and grabbed the younger man in a strong hug, whispering his thanks as he spent a moment in the warm reassuring embrace. Ever since the young Irishman had come onto the scene Hunter had felt protective of him, giving him guidance and assistance where he could. He knew the kid had a great work ethic, great potential and most of all, a sense of loyalty that both he and Shawn had picked up on straight away. He was willing to risk the locker room heat for the good of his career and that was something both the older men empathised with having endured years of it themselves.

It hadn't been easy to call in the favour, in fact it hadn't been an easy decision for Hunter to make to go down that road at all but he had to send a warning shot across the bows to Paul. There hadn't seemed to be a better way of doing it and Hunter had capitalised on the fact that Paul hadn't yet confronted Chris about the evidence of his misdemeanours. Hunter understood entirely; the love of the man who appeared to be betraying him was stopping him from bringing the situation to a head. Paul's reluctance was proof that they were living perverse carbon copies of the other's life.

Sheamus eventually made his way to the locker room leaving Hunter stood alone in the shadows. He heard the rattle of the stretcher coming up the ramp and ducked behind one of the loose curtains, waiting until the EMT's came into sight to see what effect the full power kick had had. From where he hid the stretcher was in clear sight and he saw Chris sliding himself off it, rubbing at the lower part of his jaw which bore a bright red mark and the faint pattern of the sole of Sheamus' wrestling boots.

The gathered medics ushered Chris towards the treatment room to be examined and suddenly silence descended where Hunter stood. For a moment he closed his eyes and was back in the moment where Shawn was on a stretcher just like that one. The image reminded him of what he was there for and only served to strengthen his resolve to do what he'd come to do.

~~x~~

Chris had cut a less than dashing figure as he came through the dressing room door, his dishevelled and distressed look a million miles away from the smart slick image presented in the incriminating pictures. Hunter stood silently behind the ajar door of the built in wardrobe and waited for his opportunity. His target's back was turned and Hunter lunged forward in one fluid motion, planting one hand over Chris' mouth and the other wrenching a heavily strapped wrist up the smaller man's back.

"So, Chris. How's things? Good match tonight?"

Hunter ensured that his tone was smooth and metered, knowing that in conjunction with the earlier attack that Chris' heckles would already be well up and he was determined to make his mere presence alone as effective as possible. He felt little other than disgust at having the man anywhere near him but accepted the contact as a necessary evil. There was a time for action and that time was upon him.

Chris struggled hard but the effects of the full tilt kick to the face seemed to have left him more than a little fuzzy headed and he soon stopped writhing. Hunter had always known he had the beating of Chris whenever and wherever and with a well placed knee to the bottom of the back he lowered the limpened body to the floor. Kneeling beside it he lowered his head to whisper his carefully chosen words into Chris' ear.

"Nobody's around Chris, nobody's gonna hear what you have to say so maybe take it easy on yourself. Don't scream, don't bother to shout. I'll warn you, I'm right on the edge of the patience I have with you right now. You'd be wise not to test how close I am to beating the living fuck out of you and leaving you here in a worse state than Shawn is. Do you understand me Chris?"

A slow and deliberate nod answered his gruff threat and Hunter slowly moved his hand away from Chris' mouth. He scraped his straggly hair back out of his face and planted the free hand between Chris' shoulderblades ensuring he wasn't going to be able to go far.

"Hunter, what the fuck is this about? First your new boyfriend kicks me in the face and nearly takes my head off and now you're jumping me in my own dressing room. If you wanted me that badly, you only had to ask!"

The snarky tone of Chris' voice was doing nothing to calm Hunter down and instead became the equivalent of pouring petrol on the flames. Hunter hadn't expected him to be either honest or remorseful but seeing as Chris had already linked in his mind the legit kick and the way he'd been overpowered there had at least been hope for a still-absent scrap of humility.

"You know why I'm here Chris. Its time for you to explain yourself little man, time to explain why you made a move on Shawn. A move, as it happens, that's left him busted up in hospital half dead for the past few weeks. And a move that is about to turn into the biggest fucking mistake of your life."

After a long period of near silence when only Hunter's breathing, charged heavily with raw aggression and hate, filled the air did Chris dare to speak again.

"Hunter, you feeling a little jealous, maybe a little threatened? Did you just come here to see what Shawn wanted, to see what a real man looks like? To see what someone who can satisfy your crowned prince better than you can looks like? Someone who makes him play away from home on his long-term, boring, inadequate and pathetic lover?"

The pointed sneer that came at the end of the tirade flicked a switch in Hunter that hadn't been touched since that night when Shawn got hurt. The mist slowly descended over his brain and almost appeared before his eyes, paling everything into insignificance apart from his thoughts of Shawn and his desire to make Chris pay, to make their alleged affair stop, to take him out of the picture altogether.

Dragging Chris to his feet Hunter slammed him into the nearest wall, forcing the breath from the smaller man's lungs making him cough and splutter and a pink tinge appear on his cheeks.

"Chris, get real. The entire roster knows you couldn't satisfy three of the fingers on your left hand. What makes you think Shawn could be interested in someone like you, huh? You're the pathetic one, making shit up to make people think you're the man, that you could even dream about having someone like Shawn in your bed."

The words were spat harshly, every single word pointed and intentional. Bitterness dripped off the statement and Hunter hoped that the minuscule part of him that feared that it was indeed the truth that Shawn had turned to Chris was not making its presence felt in his words. The last thing he wanted was to give any sign at all that he'd considered even for a moment that any of it could be true. He raised his hand and pulled it back, ready to land the first of an intended string of blows. It was only when the sight of the face before him, turned to the side and wincing, came into focus that he had a split-second's thought. If this was the man that Shawn wanted, if this was his choice, if it was all true, could he really do it?

He grabbed Chris by the shoulders and threw him to the ground, turning away and putting his hands on his hips, not caring about the loud bang behind him in the room as Chris was struggling back to his feet. For a moment he wished he hadn't started this, and certainly that he'd had the courage to finish it already. Hunter felt as if he owed that much to 'his Shawn' but was tormented by the notion of Shawn hating him for injuring Chris if everything being said was true, if all the evidence pointed to the truth rather than some kind of illusion or lie.

A rustling noise caught his attention and he turned around sharply with his fist drawn back only to see Chris foraging in the depths of his holdall, clearly looking for something. His face was concentrated as he searched and Hunter watched carefully, half expecting Chris to pull some kind of stunt or produce some weapon to get himself out of the room physically unscathed at least.

Hunter heard the room fall quiet again and saw Chris' arm outstretched towards him, brandishing a long thin box in his hand, the same sick smirk as before on his face. He snatched the proffered item and opened it, not knowing what to expect. Inside was a gold identity bracelet, laid out in the fastenings of the box and glistening under the fluorescent strip lights that flickered above his head. The bracelet was upside down and it curved away from the bottom of the box, the inscription on it clear to see and painfully easy to read.

_'With all my love, Shawn.'_

"See, that's how much he loves me Hunter. When did he last buy you pretty trinkets? When did he last tell you that you had all his love, bought you something to wear that told everyone just how much you meant to him? Yeah, I thought so."

"Where did you get this? When?"

The anger rose again in Hunter's voice and he snarled the last word. His head was spinning. Photos were one thing. They could mislead, be creatively interpreted but gifts were a different matter. His last shred of hope was that this was some kind of elaborate ruse, something Chris had made for himself to try and firm up his story. The niggle at the back of Hunter's mind told him that it wasn't likely that Chris would go to all this trouble to mock it up as a gift from Shawn and then not wear it. He noted that the box was worn at the corners and assumed that it was from its long-term storage in his bag. If it meant nothing, if it was all a trick why did Chris seem to carry it with him? Shaking his head he stared hard at Chris, trying to get some kind of read on what the truth of the situation was.

"It's nothing to do with you Hunter how I got that, or when, or any of the other details. The only thing you need to concern yourself with is that you and Shawn, whether you like it or not, are over. He loves me now, just be a man for once and deal with it."

Hunter saw the smug and self-satisfied look on Chris' face and wished that he could be anyone else and anywhere else in the world. Everything he loved and believed in seemed to hinge on the degree of truth in spiteful words that fell from the narrow smirking lips. With two strides across the room he grabbed Chris by the throat and unleashed the punch that had already been recoiled twice. The blow sent the smaller man crashing to the floor, bleeding from the nose and apparently knocked out cold. His body slumped awkwardly against the bench on which his bag rested and Hunter poked at the unconscious form with the toe of his shoe to make sure that he had achieved what he came to do.

Ripping the sides of the bag as far apart as they would go he set about checking what else Chris had got stashed in there. Apart from the stock standard clothes, towel and toiletries there didn't seem to be a lot else. That was until he unzipped the front pocket. In there was a wallet and a diary, both of which he removed to inspect more closely. Opening the wallet he looked firstly for a picture of Shawn, almost expecting the perverse thrill of seeing his lover's face staring back at him, or more appropriately, at Chris. There was nothing but a handful of notes, some cards and odd receipts for recent shopping. Tossing it back into the pocket he moved his attention to the black leather bound diary which bulged with papers that he hoped would reveal some further clues.

Opening the cover he flicked idly through some of the pages, most of which contained at first glance anyway, innocuous information – appearances, appointments, flight times, birthdays; the sorts of things to be expected in any pro's personal paperwork. It was only when he started to flick through the loose sheets that he saw the more interesting items. Receipts for hotel rooms, fancy restaurants, flowers; all kinds of luxury items. On opening one of the documents up some loose bits and pieces slid to the ground and Hunter stooped to pick them up, more out of his continued curiosity as to what they were as opposed to any desire to respect Chris' belongings.

As he stood working through the handful of sheets he flipped a plain piece over, the same size as one of the unanswered event invites he'd discarded as irrelevant already. A familiar feeling washed over him as he gazed down at it. A black and white photograph, just like the others. Only this one showed Shawn cupping Chris face gently, their foreheads pressed together in a tender gesture that he and Shawn had shared so many times before. The pain seared up the centre of his chest and choked the breath out of his lungs. He stood staring at the image until he started to feel dizzy through the lack of air. Stumbling back against the wall he studied it carefully. This one had been taken much more closely. It didn't look like a spy shot but it didn't seem to be a studio shot either.

Shoving it back inside the diary he rammed both that and the box into the pocket of his jacket then zipped it shut. Taking one final look at Chris he checked that the rise and fall of the unconscious man's chest was regular and turned on his heel to leave, pausing for a moment as he placed his hand on the door handle. Closing his eyes for just one second he allowed himself to think that none of this were true, that it was all a bad dream. That when he left the arena and got in his car to make the long drive home that Shawn would be waiting for him in their bed at home, propped up watching some trashy crime drama and drinking Tropicana by the gallon. For that moment his system flooded with the sense of relief that he'd craved since the moment he saw Shawn had been hurt.

The problem was that with his next breath it ebbed away and he felt just like every desperate working man who let themselves dream of that lottery win, spending the money before even buying a ticket. In the cold strip lit room false hope was still false hope. The only thing was that for Hunter, its seemed to be all he had left.

~~x~~

**A/N: I'm sorry that its taken me so long to update this story. I have kinda lost my way with anything involving Shawn for several weeks and to be honest, if I hadn't got so little of him in this ch. I'm not sure I'd have been able to write it. **

**It would be helpful if anyone reading and reviewing this ch/story in general could let me know if they want me to finish it as a chaptered fic. I'm kinda conflicted about whether or not to carry on with it given HBK's retirement. If the general consensus is to stop it I'll probably just post up a brief synopsis as to what the end is/was going to be.**

**So, all thoughts on that appreciated as much as your continued reads and reviews! Thanks all for sticking with me on this one :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their continued reviews and comments on this story and thanks to everyone who took the time to say whether or not I should carry on. As you can well see I've had a crack at another chapter for this story. I hope everyone following this story likes it. I really do appreciate your thoughts and comments :D**

* * *

_Has someone taken your faith?_  
_Its real, the pain you feel_  
_The life, the love_  
_You'd die to heal_

~~x~~

Hunter drove all night at breakneck speeds as he crossed the states, determined to put as much distance between himself and Chris as possible. His other motive was to finally confront Shawn about just what was going on. The other photos now looked less like an innocent meeting and his theory about them being some elaborate photoshopped concoction was slowly coming apart at the seams.

Finally after more hours than he was able to count he found himself in his familiar parking spot outside the hospital. His hair stuck to his face with the sweat that hadn't stopped pouring down his skin since the fire of his rage had been lit by his run-in with Chris. The whites of his eyes were bright pink through a mixture of tiredness and tears that just wouldn't come no matter how he tried to let go. His body had gone onto standby and had shut down all the emotions he had, protecting itself from the inevitability of his anger and pain, neither of which were feelings he'd ever learned to deal with particularly well. Lashing out at Chris had only served to coil him into an even tighter spring than before.

Having seen himself in the rear view mirror he half considered a trip home for some fresh clothes and a shower before going to see Shawn but in a heartbeat he deemed that level of effort pointless. It didn't really matter to him what he looked like if all he was going to do was go into the hospital ward and emerge a man with nothing more than the tatters of everything he cherished rested in the palms of his shaking hands. If Shawn was in love with Chris, if it was all true then the dirtied, dishevelled and desperate appearance of the man about to appear before him was the least of either of their worries.

Hunter patted his jacket pocket as if to make sure that the evidence was still there, its only real chance to escape being during his one stop at a roadside cafe for their largest coffee and some candy to keep his energy levels up. In the weeks since the incident he'd hardly eaten a proper meal, grabbing whatever whenever just to take the edge of his body's demands. His muscles felt aged and tired and his strength was ebbing away. The problem was that without Shawn nothing else seemed to matter enough to make him take good care of himself. In a passing moment he'd acknowledged that fact and then shelved it, knowing that the truth about his own feelings was going to do nothing like set him free.

The familiar walk through the corridors seemed longer and the wait for the elevator eternal. He'd long since stopped using the stairs despite their being a good way to kill some time if he arrived early. Around halfway up he would stop and his heart would be tearing at him to continue or to turn and run at every landing. At least if he rode the elevator then he had little chance of forcing himself out on a floor too early or too late.

His steadily paced walk towards the private room was only interrupted by one of the regular nurses eyeing him with some degree of concern. Hunter nodded at her and hoped that he'd laced his look with enough disinterestedness that she would know to leave him well alone. Peering briefly through the window in the door he could see Shawn was reading the paper, glasses perched on the end of his nose but his eyes squinting to read the smaller print. He choked back a smile thinking about the number of times he'd gotten on at Shawn to go get his eyes retested rather than wearing a pair of glasses that were 4 years old. That, like a lot of his concerned and maybe even nagging words, had fallen on pretended deaf ears.

Pushing the door open quietly he went and sat in his usual spot at the bedside and it wasn't until he cleared his throat that his engrossed lover realised that there was someone else in the room. Hunter watched as the paper was carelessly folded and cast onto the table nearby, the glasses following suit as Shawn reached out his hand and held it open palm up, ready for the interlacing of their digits. For a moment Hunter hesitated and thought whether or not he should be sharing a moment of such intimacy with a man he'd basically come to interrogate. Sensing that he probably needed a moment of support himself he reached his hand out and felt it be enveloped in two smaller but warmer hands

"Hey you...."

"How's it going today Shawn? Any news from the docs?"

Hunter watched Shawn's face intently as a wide smile grew across it.

"I kinda had some news today Hunt... I've asked them if there's any chance of me going home anytime soon. I know I'm still busted up but they've said if we've got the room then my insurance will cover some nurses. I'd just have to put some to for enough of them to come care for me. I need to get out of here Hunter, it's driving me more crazy than I need right now...."

The look on Shawn's face was pained and desperate. Hunter had to admit that in recent days his lover had been growing more and more tired looking. The number of waking hours had increased as his body was finally getting to the point where it was rested enough to heal at a better rate. The only thing was that Shawn could only have visitors for a few hours a day and was still bed bound meaning there was no way for him to leave the hospital or even the confines of his room. For a minute or so Hunter looked silently at a spot of nothing on the wall that faced him, torn between blurting out his accusations and swallowing them one more time for their potential greater good.

"Shawn, are you sure that's a good idea right now? I mean, you're only a couple of weeks past major surgery and...."

The worried look in Hunter's eyes did not appear to have gone unnoticed and before he knew it he was interrupted by a nurse in the doorway responding to the unseen press of the buzzer that Shawn had made during the period in which Hunter had been unable to summon the words with which to respond.

"Shelley! Come in here. Tell Hunter how Dr Lee said I could go home as long as I have the right staff there with me!"

The winning smile that Shawn shot her went straight to Hunter's heart. He'd had that same smile used on him so many times in the past whenever he was reluctant to do anything from getting out of bed to signing on to a new storyline. As she smirked back at him it was clear that of all the people in the room only one of them didn't know how to work a grin to their best advantage.

"Shawn, you heard what Dr Lee said. You might be able to go home depending on the results of the last lot of tests you had done to show whether or not you were healing up ok. He just wants the wound totally healed over so you don't go catching anything in it. Now those results should be back either later today or tomorrow at which point we'll talk about this again."

Shawn's face dropped into his trademark pout and he shrugged his shoulders like a small child who had been told at New Year's that they could have a puppy next Christmas. Shelley smiled at them both and shook her head, muttering something almost inaudible as she closed the door behind her.

Hunter waited for the protestations from Shawn but they didn't come. He was clearly disappointed that he had to wait even longer. Despite the turmoil about their relationship that bubbled so closely under his skin he also knew the toll that the extended stay in hospital was taking on Shawn as a person, not just as his lover. He reached for and squeezed one of Shawn's hands to show that he understood what he was going through even though in reality he hadn't got the first idea.

"Look, they'll tell us soon and then we can see what we can arrange okay? Dr Lee knows best, he's not let us down so far and I can't see that he's gonna start now. Just bear with it for a little while longer and I'm sure you'll get the news you want."

As the words fell out of his mouth Hunter realised what he'd said. The 'you' instead of the expected 'we' really did feel like the elephant in the room. It was so long since they'd been anything other than a 'we' that to hear it said so starkly shocked them both. Shawn eyed Hunter carefully, the worry lines on his face deepening.

"D-don't you want me to come home Hunt? Is that what you're getting at?"

The hurt expression stabbed straight through the haze of misery that Hunter had been feeling and for a moment he remembered all the reasons he fell in love and stayed in love with the man before him. Usually he'd do anything to take that hurt look off his lover's face from offering kind words to doing some sort of overblown gesture, anything for him not to have lost his smile like so many times before. This time though was so very different and his free hand reached almost automatically to the box that was masked so well by the stiff leather of his jacket. He ran his hand over it carefully and taking a deep breath forced a reply.

"It's not that I don't want you to come home Shawn, its not that at all, its just...well I think there's something we gotta talk about first...."

Slowly Hunter unzipped the pocket of his coat and reached into it for the photograph and the bracelet box. He slid his reluctant fingers along the shape of it and as he started to withdraw it from its dark confines his cellphone rang.

For a moment he considered ignoring it. His hand froze where it was and he sneaked a look at Shawn's face which was still furrowed and twisted with hurt and confusion. His heart screamed at him to take it as a chance to run from the room and save himself from the potentially harsh truth of their impending discussion. His head told him to stay right where he was and brass it out, to get the answers that might finally permit him an unbroken night of sleep as opposed to the fitful and frustrating napping which had passed as rest for weeks.

Pulling his empty hand out of his pocket Hunter decided to let fate make the decision for him. If it was a call he felt he had to take then he would. If it was someone he didn't want to talk to then it looked like their confrontation would be happening after all. Reaching into his jeans pocket he retrieved his phone and in bold neon blue letters the name 'Vince' flashed as the generic tone rang mutedly in the room.

"It's Vince, I gotta take this Shawn – if I don't he'll just keep ringing. You know what the crazy old crank is like. I'll go talk to him and I'll be straight back. I promise."

With his fingers poised to flip his phone open Hunter stood and leant over to kiss Shawn on the forehead, something he rarely did, preferring the feel of his lover's warm lips against his own. It struck him that maybe he'd been distancing himself from Shawn without ever giving him the chance to be innocent, to prove Chris a liar and Paul nothing more than a deluded fool. He just hoped that that chance would be taken and soon.

Slipping quietly from the room Hunter flipped the phone and took a deep breath before pulling it to his ear.

"Vince, how are you man?"

"Hunter, you must know why I'm ringing by now. I'm sure you've had one or two calls about this whole thing and I've got to say I'm pretty shocked. I just needed to check that you and Shawn were okay."

Vince's tone was serious and his gravelly voice seemed little more than a rumble in the distance to Hunter who was convinced that everyone would be gunning for him after the incident with Chris.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't had any calls at all today. Something I can help you with?"

Doing his best to maintain a light and happy tone Hunter knew that Vince rarely if ever made social calls in the middle of the business day. He braced himself for either the tirade or the reprimand, whichever his boss saw fit to throw at him.

"Look, last night after the show we found Chris collapsed in his dressing room. Truth is we think now that he'd been assaulted. Now I'm just calling to let you know that we've suspended Paul indefinitely. We know he was here last night despite being suspended after the incident with Shawn. I...well I think we might be offering to send him for some kind of evaluation. He can't go around hurting people like this, I won't have it, not in my company."

Hunter listened in little more than a stunned silence. Inside his heart and his stomach were doing the equivalent of backflips as it looked as if his involvement with the attack might be the furthest thing from Vince's mind. He decided to play patsy and go along with Paul being the culprit just in case what was being fished for was further clues or even his admission of guilt.

"Was...was it bad?

"Bad enough. He's got a busted up nose, a few scrapes and bruises. Nothing much more than a hard night at the office would've gotten him. Speaking of which, you got any ideas what got into Sheamus? That young man nearly took Chris' head off last night in the ring. Any chance you can give him a call and just tell him to calm it down a little? He can't go on sticking it to the guys here and before long they'll be tagging him back for real too."

"Sure thing Vince. He's still young y'know. He'll get better with time and I'll be looking out for him in case anyone gets handy. He'll come good, I know it."

He somehow managed to keep the innocent tone to his voice and it appeared that for the time being at least, he was in the clear. Hunter would talk to Sheamus but only to thank him again and make good on his promise to do what he could to get the kid to where he deserved to be in the company.

"Anyway Hunter, just watch out for Paul showing up. Don't take him on if he does, he's clearly not too stable right now. Take care of you and of Shawn and send him mine and Linda's best wishes. When the show comes back around your way I'll be sure to stop in and see him. I miss him a hell of a lot and I don't want to stress him by calling the hospital but if he wants to talk then he has my number. So help me God I shouldn't care with what he put me through over the years but he's like a son to me."

Offering his thanks to Vince for the kind thoughts and confirming that he would keep his distance from Paul he closed his phone and stared at it for a moment before sliding it back into his pocket. A relief swept him that he was not being pinned as Chris' attacker but he couldn't help but wonder if that was because Chris was too hurt to remember him being there or was covering up and saving this as ammunition for a later date. Surely he would've noticed by now that his diary was missing but Paul could've taken it if that's who he truly believed had landed him so squarely on his ass.

Turning his body to lean shoulder first on the wall he looked back towards Shawn's room and started to play over in his mind the words that had been spoken about him coming home. The truth was that Hunter didn't know whether or not he was ready to have Shawn around again until he knew what was really going on. By the same token it was Shawn's home too and who was he to say that he couldn't come back there whenever he wanted?

The dilemma weighed heavy on his mind as he made the short journey back into the room. He found Shawn to be dozing in the warmth of the late morning sun. The light streamed in and made the white of the sheets that much more vivid and the halo of dark blonde hair shine as if it were spun gold. On Shawn's chin the stubble that he was sporting looked soft and inviting and Hunter wanted nothing more than to go and lay his head on his lover's chest and stroke the strong jaw. He'd then listen to the steady heartbeat as the crooked fingers raked through his own flowing hair. So many idle hotel room afternoons had gone down that way leading either to gentle sleep or roaring passion. Hunter missed that, missed their bond.

As he stood in the doorway and watched the slow movement of Shawn's chest he wondered if they could put this all behind them and just carry on like nothing had ever happened. Hunter tried to figure out if he could threaten Paul and Chris enough to stay away and try to push his suspicions to the back of his mind for good. There was nothing more he'd wanted and nobody he'd ever wanted more than Shawn. Maybe it was time to just forget the pain and move on together. Maybe.

* * *

**A/N: So I tried at a next chapter. I quite like it but that usually means that it sucks. Which I hope it doesn't totally. This story is heading off towards its finish now and I'll be glad to get it sorted out. It's already hard work thinking about the end let along writing it!! All reads and reviews appreciated as always.**

The lyrics at the top are more from Best of You by the Foo Fighters.


	11. Chapter 11

The empty tumbler in Hunter's hand felt like a lead weight that he was struggling to keep a grip on. Slowly he bought it up to his face and looked at the lamp across the room through the bottom of it, the fumes from the glass tickling his nose as the shape of the shade kaleidoscoped through the cut glass. He resisted the temptation to throw it at the wall or into the fire only to watch it splinter and shatter on the hearth like he'd done a few days ago. He knew that it was pointless. A pointless task to finish up another pointless day.

He didn't like who he was becoming. Hunter had a reputation built on being the dependable go-to guy for all his friends and a lot of his co-workers. If there was an uncomfortable truth he'd be the one that would spit it out and try to clear the air. If someone needed to hear more than mindless platitudes from a friend he'd be the one with the balls to do it. Watching the dim light refract through the additional haze of the bottle of whiskey he'd already sunk he wondered just where that guy had gone.

Thoughts filled his mind of just getting a cab to the hospital, demanding to see Shawn and fronting it out. He wasn't sure how he'd get round the nurses but he was almost willing to try. The moment he went to prop himself up out of the chair was when that idea seemed the most ridiculous. His empty stomach had made the alcohol hit his system quickly and sapped the energy he thought he had.

Instead he decided to do something else he'd been thinking about. He grabbed his cellphone out of his pocket and flipped it open, hitting dial as the highlight was over the name of the person he wanted to speak to already. After a few crackly half rings there was a click at the other end and a sleepy sounding voice grumbled out of the silence.

"Hunter? It's...it's 3am. What...is Shawn ok?"

"Shawn's fine. Just peachy. Better than fine. He's good. Great. Well, he used to be..."

"You been drinking?"

"Ahh, I had a glass or two. Noth...not much. Just skipped dinner. I'm a little tired."

Adam listened intently to the voice at the other end of the line and his heart sank fast in his chest. The wishy washy stumbled over words clearly gave away the amount of liquor in his friend. He knew why Hunter was drinking but still couldn't bring himself to think that it was okay. Like most guys on the road he too had tried to find solutions in the bottom of a bottle but always found that it made things worse. In fairness he wasn't sure how it could get worse for Hunter and Shawn but he suspected that as their relationship was one step from over that the drink wasn't going to forge them any new ties, rather soak and shred those that remained.

"So, did you sort out the thing with the photos yet? I'm sure they were..."

"No."

That one word alone was enough to rationalise to Adam the rest of the conversation he expected to have. He still didn't have the answers that Hunter was looking for, hadn't yet found the ability to say that from where he stood the evidence was pretty damning _if _it was all to be believed. With a deep sigh he gathered this thoughts and mentally tossed a coin as to whether or not he should even try to help, failing to see the sense in getting himself dragged into a mess that only the drunk on the other end of the phone had the power to rectify.

"And Shawn? He's still none the wiser?"

"No. I, err...kinda tried to ask but Vince called and then he was sleeping and... Addy, I don't want this to be it. I don't want any of it to be true. I can't ask him because if he says yes...I don't... I mean, I don't..."

The piteous sound of sniffling from the other end of the phone made Adam screw his eyes shut tight as if somehow that would make it stop or at least prevent it from registering in his own brain. Hunter didn't cry. He hadn't so much as shed a tear when they put his father in the ground, the man he spent his entire life living up to and loving. He'd spoken unfalteringly at the funeral, shaken as many hands as he could and then went about his life as normal. From the outside at least he was tough as nails. Adam was fairly sure that the heartbreak was absolute for it to break the man he realised he only thought he knew.

"Hunter, you've gotta ask him. Going on like this is gonna kill you both. If its true, well you'll just have to deal with that. If its not you're shuffling yourself over the edge for nothing. I know its hard but you're going to have to deal with this. Get it done. Have at it with him."

Hunter's silence was stifling even on his own end of the call. He knew Adam was right. He'd known it all along, it was just hard to even think about broaching the subject. Yesterday had been the closest he'd gotten to actually getting there and he had some glimmer of hope that fate had interrupted him just in time to save him from accusing Shawn of what he considered a heinous crime.

The issue left behind was that even if it wasn't true then he'd never know without asking. Any rendezvous that had taken place between Chris and Shawn has done so under his radar so how could he just leave it be and take it for granted that his intended eagle eyed approach would save him from further humiliation? In truth he knew that it couldn't. He'd have to do something, say something and that Adam was right. Adam was always right.

"You think if we'd been together you'd have done something like this to me?"

The question came out of Hunter's mouth with little coaxing. He'd thought about how he'd hurt Adam ever since he'd come to his side at the hospital on that cold, damp morning. It was clear that he was hardly asking the question that the words represented. Inside he was asking if Adam was still interested. He needed to feel good, to feel wanted after weeks of being a wreck. He also knew that if Adam was close enough he'd have invited him over and maybe let more than a few drinks happen. Desperate times called for desperate and hand poured measures.

"Hunter, I can't answer that. Things change and people change. When I was with you I was a starstruck kid. I thought the world of you and I still have a lot of time for you now but if you're asking me how the years inbetween would've gone then I really can't say. All I do know is that you moved on to someone you really love and I just keep trying to do the same."

With a sigh of resignation Adam knew that nothing he could say would make a blind bit of difference to the way Hunter felt. It wasn't about him or what they'd had. Every partly slurred word was all about Shawn and about the pain the whole thing had left his friend to deal with. He heard Hunter start to speak again but spoke over him, trying his best to sound authoritative and like he knew, or at least believed, in what he was talking about.

"I'm only gonna say this once Hunter and I want you to listen. Shawn is your everything. I get that, I really do. As a friend I want you to be happy but I can't make this right for you. Nobody can apart from you. You hold the cards, you've got all the evidence and until you get the balls to do anything about them then this is how you're gonna wind up feeling, night in and night out. My suggestion to you is that you sober up, pull your finger out of your ass and go ask Shawn at the first chance you get before you drink yourself into an early grave or break your heart wondering. I'm not out to hurt you but you've got to do this before it eats up what's left of you."

The silence that met his statement gave Adam fair warning that his words were still sinking in. He let almost a minute pass during which he heard little other than some muttering and then eventually a quiet voice broke the deadlock.

"I know you're right. I just needed to be told in a certain way I guess. Thanks man, for...for everything..."

Hunter barely waited for the acknowledgement from the familiar voice before he snapped his phone shut and tossed it onto the couch. Adam was solid and dependable as ever. He made sense and talked it too. Through the mist that clouded his thoughts Hunter promised himself that tomorrow would be the day. Test results or not, tears and tantrums or not, the break of day would make the decision for him. Hunter never went back on a promise. He just hoped that when the sun set in a little under 24 hours time that he'd be able to say the same of his lover.

* * *

The wide beams of bright sunlight were streaming through the gaps in the drapes where he'd so idly pulled them together. It was the heat that finally woke him as they cast straight across his face, propped as it was on the arm of the chair where he'd fallen asleep last night. Attempting to move he heard his body grumbling at him, the pains in his knees at the forefront of his mind as he attempted to straighten them.

Slowly levering himself up Hunter headed for the bathroom, forcing himself into the shower for the first time in almost 3 days. The constant pounding of the hot water felt good on his skin but was not agreeable to the dull ache behind his eyes and between his temples. The drink hadn't had that effect on him in a few weeks and he wondered if finally he'd had too much which caused the thudding or not enough to keep the thudding away.

Once thoroughly washed and freshly dressed he couldn't help but feel a bit brighter. One pair of comfort fit jeans and a well worn merch t-shirt later and he was finally beginning to look and feel somewhere close to human. His clean mane of hair was tied back and his facial hair trimmed to within an inch of its life. Looking at his reflection in the mirror he was starting to see the makings of someone he knew, someone he realised that he missed being. The only giveaway was the pink tint to his eyes and although he considered using the standard issue 'promo day' drops he resisted, preferring to try the route of fruit and water for breakfast to bring his body back to normal.

As he drove towards the hospital he tuned the radio away from the dreary country channels and listened to the more mainstream station, singing along with the latest songs that he didn't realise he knew the words to. It was as he joined in with the sweeping syllable at the crescendo of some recent rock number one hit that he realised that just the thought of sorting his life out was making a difference. He chose not to let his brain wander into territory where that life would change so fundamentally, knowing that the day would be hard enough without that as a complication to the good start he'd made.

Once the engine was off and the keys out he grabbed his jacket and the envelope from the passenger seat and headed towards the entrance. As he stepped up the kerb outside a body moved into his path and obstructed it. Looking up he saw a familiar face that did little other than smile blandly back at him. Paul.

"So did you come here to finish what you started?"

"Paul, I don't know what you're doing here man but just not now. I got things to do."

"Oh I'm sure you have. I heard what happened to Chris which, for the record, was nothing to do with me. I think they're looking at the wrong man, unlike myself."

Paul eyed Hunter suspiciously, waiting for the crack in the mask, the dead giveaway smirk he more than expected to see but found nothing. All he saw was Hunter shrug his shoulders casually.

"Think what you like. Now just get out of my way. I told you, I'm busy."

Hunter waited for Paul to move his solid frame out of the way but soon realised that it wasn't going to happen. He sidestepped to the left and then back to the right only to find his path still blocked on both occasions. As Hunter raised his arms to push Paul out of nothing more than frustration the envelope slipped from his hand and landed on the floor. He quickly bent to retrieve it but not before its presence had been noted.

"Today? Hunter, you pick the worst times."

The slow and knowing chuckle that followed the words was deliberate on Paul's part. He looked at Hunter's confused expression and for a moment he pondered whether or not to tell him what he knew. He soon decided on balance that it would cause him more problems in the long term to keep quiet. Letting a smile spread wide on his face and with a knowing slow shake of his head Paul gestured with his thumb over his shoulder.

"You do know he's in there right?"

* * *

**A/N: So I'm carrying on with this as I intended, I decided to finish it or I'd kick myself when I looked back on it. This is maybe one of my favourite chapters so far and I'm quite pleased with how it turned out so again, thanks for all the kind encouragement from my much-loved readers that made me not ditch this when I was so down on it all!**

**I just wanted to thank everyone for the continued reads and reviews, they're much appreciated :) I'd say this story has got a few more chapters to run and then will be done, the next is written and may well make it up this weekend :) Thanks again all :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: So, I managed to delete this by accident from my hard drive and have spent the last two weeks searching for the right damn memory stick with it on - but finally I found it. So, its here and the story trolls on... enjoy :)**

* * *

"Who's in there? Shawn? Fuck, Paul he's been in hospital for weeks. This is hardly breaking news. Now are you..."

"No, Chris is in there. He's with Shawn as we speak. I, well, I've been following him for a few days now. I knew it'd only be a matter of time before he came here. In fact I bet they both been waiting until the coast was a little clearer to pick up where they left off."

All humour was gone from Paul's voice and that wasn't lost on Hunter. He felt the colour draining from his face as it seemed as if all the blood in his body settled into his legs and feet that were no longer as eager as they were to march into the hospital. Inside his mind was racing. Was it the way he'd seemed not to want Shawn to come home that had driven him to bring Chris to the hospital? Could it be that his early morning visit had interrupted a pattern that his usually drunken and desperate sleeping body hadn't been around to know anything about? The silence between himself and Paul started to grow more than awkward and Hunter felt helpless to do anything about it, his grip on the envelope tightening to the point where his every knuckle blanched.

"Hunter. You're still gonna do this aren't you?"

The despair in Paul's tone made it clear that he'd still not confronted Chris and although Hunter wasn't overly enamoured about being anyone's easy way out he knew that he was his own only way out.

"Ye...yeah. I think so. Fuck Paul, what...when did he get here?"

"He's been here little under an hour. Brought a bagful of stuff with him and just headed in. I decided to wait out here and grab him on the way back out. It didn't seem fair to Shawn to get on his case while he's still laid up here. I never meant...not this bad...I just..."

The raised hand in his face had silenced Paul and he was glad that his babbling stream of words had been stemmed. He knew he'd never be able to justify his actions to himself so he had little hope with anyone else and especially Hunter.

"Look, I'm still going in there. Two birds, one stone right?"

"I'm coming with you."

"No you're not, big bones. You can stop here. I don't want you anywhere near Shawn. I don't care what he's done or not done with Chris, _you_ nearly killed him."

"Hunter, I'm going in that hospital whether you like it or not. I've got problems with all this too. Its not just you and your precious boyfriend up there that this is hurting."

With one look at Paul's face Hunter lost the will to argue. He hadn't got the inclination to get in some parking lot brawl with a man almost twice his size. Instead he figured there was a better way to deal with it all.

"I don't want you near Shawn, understand me? No way. So I'll get Chris out of there and send him to you. There's a family room at the end of the ward. You wait there and I'll send him to you. That way you can say and do what you like while I try and sort my life out now you two have turned it on it's damned head. And this isn't a discussion Paul, either we do this my way or I'll have security on your ass just like last time. It's your call."

Paul knew that he wanted into the hospital. He also figured that getting through the doors peacefully was the best way to do it. He didn't have to do anything Hunter told him once he'd made it in. Slowly he nodded his agreement ensuring that the smirk that sat suppressed behind his lips stayed there. He didn't want to touch Shawn again but after being so humiliated by Chris moving out he'd got a few words for him that he'd not managed to say in the string of rejected phone calls he'd tried to make to him of late.

The journey in the elevator was awkward; Hunter stared intently at the illuminating buttons as he carefully kept an eye on the larger man beside him. He felt his neck muscles tighten when Paul cracked his knuckles. Hunter didn't want any trouble but suspected that it might well come looking for him anyway. If Chris was in the hospital and was at Shawn's bedside there was every chance that he'd have told Shawn about how he'd been attacked and by whom. A string of images depicting the potential outcomes of that situation flickered in his mind's eye and he conceded that none of them ended well for him.

Once on the corridor of the ward he pointed Paul towards the family room, deciding it best not to speak in case the door of the private room was open. After a moments hesitation Hunter watched as Paul went and sat near the window of the empty room, his eyes trained directly on the door he'd just gone through. The steely eyed determination in the look was enough to make Hunter briefly thank whatever God was up there that he wasn't the one Paul wanted that kind of word with.

He turned and walked away, his hands starting to tremble around the envelope that he was still clutching tightly. In a number of seconds he was in front of the door and peering in through the window of the private room. There Chris was, in _his _chair at bedside, one hand on the sheets and the other holding a cup of coffee. Both men were laughing and Shawn's wide smile stabbed Hunter straight through the heart. Instinctively he opened the door and headed inside, not bothering to care if he was interrupting anything.

"Hunter! You're early today... good to see you though."

Shawn's smile was every bit what it had been in response to Chris and it reassured Hunter that maybe it was just a friendly conversation that had been taking place before he arrived. He walked over to the bed and leaned over, ensuring that today his kiss was planted squarely on Shawn's lips.

"Its good to see you too, real good. And you have a visitor! How's it going Chris? What brings you to this part of the world?"

"I just came by to see Shawn, catch up, see how he was getting on. See if he needed anything I could give him to aid his recovery."

The sly smirk that accompanied the words had already started to make Hunter's blood pressure rocket and the way the words hung so pointedly in the air did nothing to ease it. The silent stand off was only interrupted by an oblivious Shawn's voice which seemed to echo its way into the forefront of Hunter's pre-occupied mind.

"Say Hunt, did you know Chris got jumped the other night at the arena? Apparently they think it was Paul but Chris here can't remember a damn thing about it. With that black eye I'm not surprised though, it looks pretty nasty to me. I never thought he had it in him until he busted me up but to do it to your own guy is so...so _not _him. You wanna be careful Hunter, I don't want him coming after you if he's outta control like that."

"Well Chris I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I've been out of the loop a little since all this went off. Which reminds me, can I have a quick word with you out there? I got something couriered down from Vince about the Canada tour he's planning that I just wanna run past you for a sec. That senile old man needs to get himself a better research team and I need my first coffee of the day. Shawn, you want anything while we're gone?"

The tone of his voice was intended to make it clear to Chris that his invite was far from being one. It was a demand, an order, a command that he hoped Chris had the good sense and grace not to challenge. He'd remained sure that Chris remembered everything about the attack given that his wallet and diary were gone and was just playing along with the amnesia for his own benefit.

"No, I'm good thanks Hunt, Chris here got me one just before you arrived."

Hunter watched Chris get out of the chair, a confused expression replacing the smug one he'd had moments ago. Inside Hunter wondered if Chris was really that naive to believe for one second that he wanted him for that. It truly didn't matter as long as he could get him out of the room, into the hands of his deranged waiting lover and out of Hunter's way while he got down to some serious talking with Shawn.

They filed out of the room as Shawn picked up the remote and flicked on the news channel, his breathy cursing about the latest political scandal bluer than the guilty party's neck tie. Hunter waited until the door was closed behind them before clapping his hand down on Chris' shoulder and squeezing painfully hard.

"I think we need to go and have a little talk, don't you Chris?"

His silent nod was enough to indicate that he had no intentions of arguing and Hunter hoped that was something Chris would be able to continue when he saw the intimidating figure of his almost ex-lover standing before him shortly. Loosening his grip he steered Chris in through the door of the family room and, noticing that Paul was nowhere to be seen, nearly had a heart attack when the large hand came out from behind the door and knocked Hunter's out of place.

"Just what the fuck do you think you're doing here?"

Paul's tone was low and menacing, the anger within it apparent and fortunately for all concerned only present in his voice. His hand clamped harder onto the flesh under his grasp and both men watched as Chris' face twisted into a grimace and he buckled a little with the pain.

"I'm just visiting a friend, a friend you damn near killed you idiot! And what is this? Rent-a-Goon? Hunter did you really need to get Paul to come fight your battles for you? If you'd wanted me to leave then you should've just said."

"Don't bullshit me Chris. I know what's been going on with you and Shawn. Hunter knows too, we all do, so why don't you stop lying to us, man up and tell the truth."

"I haven't got a clue what the hell you're on about, now let me go or I'll..."

Before Chris could finish his sentence Hunter stepped to the side of them and pushed Chris had in the middle of the chest sending him out of Paul's clutch and clumsily onto the nearby sofa. He didn't want a full scale brawl breaking out with Shawn only doors away and had decided to stop it before it could get going. He moved to sit on the coffee table in front of Chris and leaned forward to get as close to Chris as he dare without being unable to resist the urge to blacken the swollen eye even more than it appeared he already had.

"A friend huh? You expect me to believe that Chris when you must've travelled hours to get here and not even called once to see how he was? You must think I'm as stupid as big boy over there."

"What have you two been drinking? I came to see a friend. Can't you understand that or get it through your two thick skulls? Shawn and I are friends and I was concerned for his health after what happened, that's all."

Paul listened to the metered tone of Chris' voice and felt the tiniest hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He knew it was all lies, he knew full well that Chris wasn't the kind to make mercy missions no matter how close he was to someone. All the answers, the honeyed and considered words were doing nothing to quell his suspicions that all the evidence he had was pointing in the right direction after all.

"Here. You tell me what you and you're 'friend' were up to when these were taken."

Hunter had listened to Chris' words and decided that he didn't buy them any more than Paul seemed to do. The cynical look on Paul's face was accented by one large raised eyebrow and Hunter knew then that he wasn't at all convinced. He'd slowly withdrawn the photographs from the envelope and after speaking tossed them casually into Chris' lap, his eyes concentrating unerringly on the angry looking face of the smaller man. All he saw was the fight in the muscles at the side of Chris' jaw as they flexed and moved the skin around them. A trace of a smile turned up the corners of Chris' thin lips, particularly as he came to the last photo, the one that had been taken along with his diary. There was no look of surprise there which confirmed he knew only too well the identity of his attacker and the whereabouts of his belongings.

"Awww c'mon, this is me and Shawn having lunch and just hanging out together. Can't two guys do that any more without it being front page news? And fuck Hunter, what's with having me followed like this? Are you really that possessive that Shawn can't even have friends?"

A half-laughter cry of "Bullshit!" came across the room and Paul shook his head at the casual nature of Chris' protestation. If he was lying he was getting damn good at it and that made him start to wonder just how much more of what he'd heard coming out of that mouth had been lies too. He noticed Hunter still fiddling with the bulging envelope and was about to ask him what else was in there when a voice cut him dead.

"Don't insult my intelligence Chris. You and Shawn never got along."

"Things change Hunter, people change. They move on, grow, evolve. You should know all about evolution but I'm sure sometimes its hard to see past the end of your nose..."

The sniping comment only served to get Hunter's heckles up further and he began to wonder if he wouldn't have been better off finishing what he'd started when he'd punched Chris before. He knew that there was never going to be a straightforward or honest answer to anything he asked but he was still shocked that Chris would carry on lying after being presented with the damning evidence. His patience was being roundly tested by Chris' show of defiance and he figured that there was one last way he could try to get to the bottom of it all. Taking the photos back and palming them into his pocket he smiled broadly.

"Well, seems like the cat got your tongue there Chris. Never mind though, I'm sure Paul here has a whole lot of things he wants to say to you. I'll give you two a moment and I'll go ask Shawn myself just what the hell is going on here."

Before Hunter's arm was fully outstretched to push himself up off the table Chris was out of his seat, his scowling face staring down angrily. His eyes were screwed up which in turn furrowed his brow deeply and even though Hunter pushed himself up slowly and his height advantage over Chris became clear it did nothing to stop the outburst that followed.

"Don't you dare go upsetting him when he's sick. You don't care about him at all do you? He deserves better than you. Better than the kind of person that could do something like this," Chris gestured dramatically towards his face. "If you did this to me then I dread to think what you could do to someone as fragile as he is right now!"

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me. If it wasn't for you he wouldn't be laid up in here. You're the one that threw him and broke his body almost in two you sicko. And Hunter here is just as bad. If he'd been taking proper care of Shawn you wouldn't have got to him like you did. Not to mention that he turns up backstage and beats the hell out of me for nothing. You're nothing but a fucking psycho Hunter. You're as bad as Paul if not worse. Both of you, all you've ever done is hurt Shawn and I'm going to make sure that never happens again."

Hunter grabbed the collar of Chris' jacket and yanked him close until their noses were millimetres from touching and the rapid spent breaths blew hotly against both their faces. He eyed Paul moving towards them and shot him a glare to warn him to stop where he was.

"You're nothing to Shawn. Nothing. He doesn't care about you any more than I do. His illness, his problems – they're all your fault. You and your boyfriend over there. He's nothing to do with you."

"Hunter, if it makes you feel good lying to yourself like that then go ahead. You know what the deal is here and if you can't handle that then I'm afraid that's your prob-"

The hand that grabbed Chris by the hair dragged his body backwards and looked as if it had no intention of releasing him. Paul's face was red and hot, his anger palpable as the snarl on his lips bared his teeth. Hunter noticed the sparkle of tears in the corners of Paul's eyes but wasn't sure if they were from hurt or frustration.

"What are you saying Chris? You and Shawn...?"

"Oh please. You've seen the pictures, right? Of course me and Shawn. You...you disgust me. I can't believe you hurt him like that. I should kill you for what you've done to him. You can't compare to someone like Shawn. You're nothing but a freak of nature, a fat guy who was lucky enough to get a growth spurt and make it to seven feet tall. You're not beautiful, attractive, sensual; all the things Shawn is to me..."

The silence weighed heavy on them all as the worst fears of two men were confirmed by the heartfelt words of the third. Hunter rubbed his hand down his side and felt the pictures in his pocket, the sharp corner catching on his palm. The sensation seemed to jolt him back to some kind of action and he finally did make it towards the door. He eyed the still restrained Chris who had started to struggle and then opened his mouth into more than the grimace it was still twisted into.

"Whe...where are you going Hunter?"

"Not that its anything to do with you but I'm going to settle this once and for all."

Hunter saw Chris kick his legs out as if trying to get himself away from Paul but the restraint was unrelenting. It was clear that for the time being Chris was going nowhere fast. Paul's lips pulled into a sneer and the words that escaped them had a tone which contained more than an implied threat.

"You, Chris, are staying right here with me. We have a few things to discuss after your little admission don't you think?"

As Hunter opened the door and slipped through it he heard a loud bump but chose not to look back. He wasn't interested in their domestic problems as he certainly had a world of his own problems left to sort out.

* * *

**A/N: Hope everyone still reading this story is enjoying it as much as I am writing it *and editing it now I've found the right memory stick XD* All reads and reviews appreciated as ever :)**


	13. Chapter 13

Hunter decided that to skip the coffee and return without Chris would probably be too much of a dead giveaway so with a heavy heart he made his way to the vending machine at the opposite side of the ward. He waited as the drink was dispensed, his head against the cool glass of the window beside it. The machine clanked to a halt and for a moment he just stood, eyes closed, and breathed in the scent of the hot liquid, the aroma of it taking him back to their mornings together. Pancakes and bacon, laughung while passing 'Bret' down the table to drizzle over it and the best coffee in the world brewing in the machine. It all just seemed so long ago and it wasn't that the memories had faded, they'd just grown more painful to recall.

Cup in one hand and envelope in the other Hunter backed his way into Shawn's room, hissing as the door came back and bumped his ass causing some of the coffee to splash his hand. Shawn's laughter broke the quiet and he shook his head as Hunter turned around.

"What am I always tellin' you about not doing that? How many times you gotta burn yourself before you make two trips or get a tray?"

Hunter shrugged and put the drink and the envelope onto the bedside cabinet, sat, dried his hand on his jeans and cleared his throat. He opened his mouth to speak and expected the silence that he'd anticipated every time he'd thought about bringing the subject up. To his near horror though there was nothing of the sort. His brain had decided it was go time.

"Shawn, there's been something on my mind now since this accident happened and I... I got something to ask you that's been bugging me..."

A voice interrupted Hunter that he didn't expect or appreciate.

"Is this about me coming home? Cos if it is, I don't mind stopping here a little longer, I don't want to be a burden to you Hunt, that's the last thing I want to be."

"Are you going to listen to me? Its nothing to do with you coming home. It's about the accident, what happened to you. Shawn, do you have any idea why he did that to you?"

The tone of Hunter's voice was something he'd failed to control. He knew he sounded agitated, snappy and far from his usual self. He felt almost as if it wasn't him doing the talking, like there was someone inside him pulling strings and pressing buttons that made his body function before his brain was ready to comprehend.

"Hunter, I'm as lost as you are. The guy is clearly missing a few of his marbles and I just got the hard end of it, that's all."

Shawn's face wore a sad look that would usually have served to weaken Hunter's resolve. This time though all he could see was the glowing smile that he'd given Chris before and that was like the red rag to a bull. Hunter failed to see why he should be the one to comfort a sad and broken man while Chris got the bright and entertaining side of the man he'd fallen in love with a long, long time ago.

"C'mon Shawn, Chris turns up here out of the blue, you two are here getting all cosy, maybe I've been missing something. Maybe you two got more going on than just a chat and Paul figured it out already."

"What the... Hunter, what are you saying? That me and Chris? You really... you... where has this shit come from Hunt? You can't think I'm screwing Chris? If this is a joke its really not funny."

The words from Shawn were quickfire, curt and with a note of aggression in them that was unfamiliar to Hunter. Their words, though sometimes cross, were rarely tainted in a way that would turn the corner to nasty or pointed. The backbone of their lengthy relationship was the fact that neither took things too seriously and that they never ended a day on an unresolved argument, as few and far between as the bouts of bickering tended to be. In his heart Hunter felt bad having to ask the questions and still felt distant from his own words but he knew that he'd have to press on to get an answer.

"No, I'm not joking. I have photos, proof of what I think's been going on," Hunter rifled his pockets to make sure he had them all and then placed the carefully taped back-together images in the upturned waiting hand. "You gotta know how these look Shawn, how much sense they make in all this mess, all this hurt we're both going though."

Hunter watched Shawn's expression carefully, his eyes scanning the face for a reaction, looking for more than the deep valleys that had formed across the usually smooth forehead to tell him what was going on. The normally enchanting blue-green eyes flickered across the images as Shawn looked through them but there was little or no reaction; no smiles, no sighs, nothing to go on. Eventually he stacked the photos back together and shuffled them into a neat pile. Silence ensued, Shawn still staring intently at the images in his hands and Hunter desperate to know just what they were all about.

"I can't believe you had me followed, I thought you trusted me Hunter. I would never lie to you and if you doubted me all you had to do was ask, I always told you the truth before. Dammit, you're the only one I never lied to."

"It wasn't me that... look, it doesn't matter Shawn. I need to hear something that makes those photos make a different kind of sense to me. All I see is you and Chris getting pretty close and pretty cosy and where I'm from two and two makes four."

With a deep sigh Shawn began to speak and Hunter listened carefully, hoping that it was either the truth or that he'd be able to see through to the truth if it wasn't.

"You remember a few months ago I said one of the guys came to me and said they wanted to know a little more about my church? Well that was Chris. He came to me, said his thing with Paul wasn't going too well, his drinking was getting outta control and that he was starting to regret leaving his wife. He asked me not to tell anyone that he wanted to speak to someone in the church so I left it be, didn't tell anyone and, although I'm regretting it now, that included you.

"Chris isn't the sort that wants to do his dirty laundry in the street Hunter, he's got more sense than I ever had. So, I took him along to meet the preacher, to meet my bible group, all the things that happened for me when I was saved. See, I know you only put up with my faith because you love me. Last thing you'd have wanted was me boring you about someone else getting called too. So to cut a real long story short, that's why we're together in these photos," Shawn picked the pile up and thumbed through them. "This one, we're at lunch discussing his upcoming baptism. This one we're holding the bible group at Chris' cos you'd gone to that promo gig in Arizona and I had nobody around to help me get the old dears outta the house when we'd done!"

Hunter noted that the words were unfaltering, no stammers or stutters, no gaps and no shake in the gruff and annoyed sounding voice. He toyed with the possibility that the speech could've been rehearsed for just such an occasion but surely Shawn, _his _Shawn, wouldn't be so cold, so heartless to have an excuse just laying in wait.

Tentatively he reached over to the bed and picked out the photo of Chris and Shawn's heads pressed so closely and intimately together. Spending nothing more than a second looking at the tormenting image he passed it straight into Shawn's hand and left it there while he found the courage to ask for it to be explained to him.

"That one. Tell me that one means nothing, that it's as innocent as you're making out the rest to be. Make me believe what you're telling me Shawn, please..."

His words faded to nothing as the highlight reel of pornographic images that he'd created as the aftermath to the captured tender moment played back in his mind. He bent forward and propped his elbows on his knees, allowing his head to sit heavy in his hands, a familiar position he'd often assumed at the bedside. His fingers splayed wide as if protecting himself from an impending blow and the seconds of silence seemed to drag on and on.

"Hunter, as much as I want to tell you to fuck yourself right now all I have to say about this picture is that if you, or whoever has taken these, had pressed the button two minutes after this one you'd have a picture of Chris looking like a drowned rat, fresh out of the baptismal pool and half a dozen senior citizens wrapping him up in towels. I brought him to God, to the Lord, to be saved and I'm glad to have done that for him. He was as lost as I was only he had the good sense to stay off the pills. He's a changed man and all because someone took the time to listen, to really hear what he had to say. And you know what, because of that he found salvation just like I did and now he's a complete person. He was only telling me this morning that everything is so much clearer for him now, that he knows which direction his life his headed in and that's all because of me and how I helped him out. He's a changed man Hunter."

Unable to help his reaction Hunter's head snapped up and he stared directly into Shawn's eyes, one of his own eyebrows raised in total disbelief. He licked his lips to wet them, preparing to ask more questions but was shocked into silence when Shawn began again.

"Look, where did all this come from? These pictures are all from before I ended up laid in this bed but you've been here every day without fail, holding my hand and pretending everything's okay with us. What's going on here Hunter? You can't believe something so low of me... and if you do then what the hell are you still doing here...why didn't you ask me sooner?"

The sudden outburst gave Hunter a shock he'd not expected. Shawn was angry, insulted that Hunter hadn't trusted him. On any other day he'd have been able to talk the situation down, nod and smile the incoming argument away but this was different. This was their present and their future balanced on the edge of a much eroded trust. No smart answer or wisecrack was going to get to the bottom of their situation and Hunter was torn apart inside, every plausible word tugging his heart one way, the simplicity of the images the other.

Reaching across for the envelope he pulled the box out of it and opened it up, feeling Shawn's eyes burning into him as he did so. He spent a few seconds just looking at the way the light caught the engraved gold and imagined it against his own dark tanned skin. As he looked at it the image turned into the same bracelet fastened around Chris' wrist and he put his hand out and proffered the box as if it contained something he was allergic to or smelled bad.

"Well maybe I'm hanging around to see if I get one of these. "_With all my love, Shawn_" it says. Which part of innocent and just friends does that fit into huh?"

Hunter looked away and fixed his gaze on the elbow taps across the room. He was shaking and trying his best to control it to no avail. Inside he raged against himself, against Shawn, against Paul, Chris, the hospital, his profession; everything. It was as if being trapped in that room, in that situation was dragging the last of the fight he had away into the mid-morning sun. His skin began to crawl with prickly heat despite the air conditioning keeping the room at a moderate temperature, his fingers flexing and making the worn paper of the envelope crease and tear as he repeated the action.

"Its just a gift – and no, not that kind of gift – just something to remind Chris that God is always around and that if he needs help, if he's feeling lost that between me and God we can probably help him out. Look," Shawn took the bracelet from its moorings in the box and flipped it over into the palm of his hand. "Nihil Nisi Deo. It means 'Nothing Without God'. Its like the cross I always wear. If you've got a constant reminder then its harder to forget how to live and how to always do what you can to be the best person. That's all it is Hunter. It's nothing more than that. You thought... you really thought I'd buy him this and mean it in _that _way... you think I feel for him in any way like I feel for you?"

It was then that the penny dropped and Shawn's face changed. His eyes narrowed and he looked at the pictures still spread in his lap. Hunter couldn't figure out what exactly was fascinating his lover so much but he stayed silent, busy digesting the plainly spoken words that dripped with the sincerity and honesty they always did when faith was their topic of conversation.

"Where'd you get the bracelet Hunt? Huh? Where did it come from?" Shawn paused and the silence nearly stifled both men. "Tell me Hunter. Where did you get all this from?"

The loud words and serious tone were the clearest indication that Shawn was hurt by the accusations and allegations and Hunter felt himself start to panic more than before. Now the tug of war was being won by the part of him that believed his lover's innocence was true and absolute. Only the barest niggles remained at the back of his mind that any of the reasons could be lies. Shawn would never use his faith, his core beliefs as an excuse to get out of a sticky situation, Hunter knew that.

"Shawn, you gotta understand how it would lo-"

His sentence was cut short by a familiar loud bang. The door of the private room swung open and connected forcibly with the wall behind it. Chris appeared through it, read faced and with his shirt collar torn almost clean off the body of the shirt. His chest rose and fell rapidly and his panting sounded like that of a man who'd just completed a marathon. Seconds behind him was Paul, himself also flushed in his cheeks and up over his balding head. His breathing was less rapid but just as laboured.

Hunter stood, his head reeling from the shock of the noise and his heart beating impossibly fast in his chest. Turning to the door he saw Paul, his face tear streaked and swollen. Next he caught sight of a widely smiling Chris who had eyes for nobody in the room other than Shawn.

"You can tell him Shawn, its all okay now. I told Paul everything."

"I already told him Chris, you being saved now and all about your baptism," Shawn focused on the large frame obstructing the doorway."Now what the fuck are you doing here Paul? I really don't want-"

"No Shawn, I told him _everything_. About us, the real us and how you said we could be together one day. Well its done. We can be together, just like you said."

The room began closing in around Hunter and the words echoed in his mind. He felt as if his brain was grinding to a halt and his heart was close behind it. All he had left to hope for was that somehow the truth and the lie could be separated but he truly had no idea how that was going to happen. Eventually he turned his head to Shawn. Their eyes connected and he wordlessly asked for the truth; something to truly believe in.


	14. Chapter 14

The silence in the room was the most deafening noise any of them had ever heard. It was only broken by an alarmed looking nurse appearing at the door to ask if everything was ok. Paul nodded and muttered an assurance about how everything was fine. She sternly reminded them all that they were in a hospital and not a wild west saloon bar and then left, Paul then stepping inside the room and closing the door behind him.

Hunter found himself still staring fixatedly at Shawn who's face bore a look of confusion that could by rights illustrate the dictionary definition. It gave him some hope that this was all a mistake, that there had been nothing going on and that Shawn would heal, come home and life could just go back to normal. It had been so long since anything seemed routine and mundane that he'd begun to crave their previous daily grind. Life had been so much easier back then but the return to that seemed so far away.

"What's up Hunter? It all adds up doesn't it? The gifts, the pictures, the time we spent together behind your back... its over Hunter, you're old news. Its all about me and Sh-"

"Whoa. Just wait a minute there Chris. You asked me not to tell Hunter about you joining the church and I respected that."

Shawn's tone was serious and low. There was no jovial tone, the hurt of an abused trust present in his voice.

"Some things you just don't keep from your partner for no good reason Shawn. We don't have to run around behind anyone's back anymore, it's out in the open now. Just tell Hunter its over, that this is what you've wanted for months and then we can move on together and be happy."

"Chris, we're just friends. You found God with my help and all this 'me and you' stuff is BS and you know it. What exactly are you trying to achieve here?"

On seeing Chris step forward towards the bed Hunter positioned himself between the two, unable to understand his urges to carry on protecting Shawn in light of what he was hearing. If it was a lie he needed to keep Chris away but if it was true he didn't want to see it clearly with his own two eyes.

"Hunter, let him up here. I've got nothing to hide."

Chris rounded Hunter and perched in the chair at the side of the bed that he'd occupied earlier. He reached out a hand to grasp Shawn's but the angry looking Texan pulled his hand away before it could happen. Instead Chris picked up the top photo of the pile and thumbed the edge of it gently, a doe-eyed look of emotion on his face.

"Look at us Shawn, we're so perfect together. Anyone can see that."

"Yeah, about these damn photos... which one of you paid some creep to follow me? Which one of you was desperate enough to stalk me to even get these?"

Shawn brandished the remainder of the photos in his hand and gestured towards each of the men in turn, wincing as he moved his back too sharply with the level of ire coursing through him.

"It wasn't me. Paul gave them to me the night you got hurt. I'd never seem them before that night. You're better off asking husky here."

Hunter had held his hands up in a defensive motion, nodding his head towards Paul as he spoke. He had no intentions of taking the blame for their production, it struck him that he was in enough trouble as it was for concealing them for weeks.

"I only got them couriered to me. I had nothing to do with arranging them. I don't even know who sent them to me if I'm honest, they just turned up at my door."

With that all three of them looked at Chris, his eyes still gazing at the photo until he must've felt the weight of their collective stare on his shoulders.

"C'mon, you really believe that I..."

Shawn interrupted Chris, having already picked up the next picture on the pile, the one of himself and Chris eating lunch at a restaurant.

"The Garden, right?"

Chris nodded his answer.

"That place miles from anywhere, great food, great view?"

"Sure is Shawn, one of the best restaurants around."

"The place your driver or whatever the hell type of man-servant he is took us to that day. It's the one we went to when we were booked for that gig in Georgia isn't it? The one that Hunter and Paul couldn't be at because they were working on the video game thing. The lunch that nobody else knew we went for apart from me and you."

All eyes in the room again turned pointedly to Chris who looked uncomfortable and opened his mouth to speak but didn't get the chance to.

"Chris, no-one apart from you and your hired help knew I was even in that car with you. It was a place nobody could've reasonably followed us to unless you told them where we were headed. And even if they had they'd be following us to sell it on and we'd have at least made a local rag or somethin'. But hey, maybe you didn't have to tell anyone. Maybe they were already there just waiting for us to turn up."

Shawn's voice was barking out of him, the volume increasing with every accusation he had to make. Once silent he shook his head and looked towards the window where the sun still shone. His expression was blank and disinterested as if calmly waiting for something to happen or someone to come through it.

"It's not like that. Look, I just wanted to show everyone how good we are together, how great we look as a couple. It's meant to be Shawn, you know that and I know it too. We're unstoppable together. These two needed to know that most of all. If they leave us alone then we can be truly happy."

Chris appeared to have realised that there was no way out of the situation or the room without some kind of reasons coming to the fore. Paul found himself shell-shocked in the corner of the room, leaning on the wall while his heart pounded loudly in his ears. For the first time in months he heard the honesty coming from Chris' heart via his loud and generally unforgiving mouth. The words stung as they sounded like the honeyed compliments and declarations of love he'd once received from the same man.

"What the hell... Chris, you're not stupid. I'm with Hunter, always have been and always will... be."

The small pause before the last word made it feel like a giant golf ball had jammed itself down Hunter's throat. He stared at the floor and found a fascinating section of stitching on his shoe to stare at, his entire body racked with guilt and frustration to the point of pain. How could he ever have believed that Shawn would cheat on him? Even in the face of all the 'evidence' he should've been stronger, more resolute. The love in Shawn's words had been almost too much to hear; the instant reaction to point out that he wasn't available, defending what they had and who they were as a unit. Had, thought Hunter, may be the best word for it, the pause making him hugely unsure that they were both still thinking of themselves as an 'us'.

"Shawn, you said we'd be together..."

"Yeah, but not like _this_. Not romantically Chris. At church, in heaven, when you're down and you need a friend. You're a fool if you ever thought I loved you as more than a brother in Christ, which I'd like to state that I. Do. Not. Even if... even if you did think that then maybe you should've come up with a better way to tell me than setting me up like this.

"All the times we talked, hours and hours talking about you and Paul, how you wanted to make a go of things. About your wife and how you still loved her but not enough... how you missed your kids. All damn lies to do what? To make me feel sorry for you? Make me love you? Shit, Chris. Just how stupid do you think I am? Which part of you thought that this crazy setup would work, huh?"

"Shawn... please..."

Chris extended his hand out to try and take Shawn's again but to no avail. The hand was already planted palm down into the air mattress, Shawn using all his strength to try and sit up straighter in bed.

Hunter moved forward and started to go around the bottom of the bed to help, his heart shattering as he watched the wasted arms tremble under the weight of the slight body. His fears about their relationship were assuaged and he found himself compelled to do anything he could to move on, his silent vows repeated like a mantra, heartfelt promises to get Shawn home and get him better.

"Don't bother Hunter. I'm no more an invalid than I am an adulterer. All three of you need to get the hell out of here and leave me alone."

The harsh words stopped him in his tracks, stranded at the far corner of the foot of the bed. Panic started to rise within him, the worst of all the situations he'd imagined had started to pan out. The accusation had been made, roundly rebutted and Shawn's very foundations shaken by the level of Hunter's doubt in their love, their connection. It was all unravelling and Hunter felt totally powerless to stop it, the boulder gathering speed as it raced down the hill after his own fingerpoke of doom had started the descent.

"Chris, me and you isn't and was never going to happen. You're downright deluded if you think that this stunt is going to make me fall into your arms, whether or not me and Hunter come out of the other side of this intact. All of this is your fault and I hope you get on your damn knees and use some of what you've learned for good rather than bad. Thanks to you I may never have that privilege again

"Paul. Now you, Lord forgive me I can't stand the sight of you right now, but if this is the kind of shit he's been pulling on me then I can only imagine how rough you've had it. I don't feel that angry anymore. Seems we got played as bad as each other. Who knows, in time I might find it in me to forgive you for all this. In the meantime I'd appreciate it if you could start making amends by leaving me be and taking Chris here with you. I don't want any arguments and I sure as hell can't deal with any more hassle so I'm warning you now, either of you causes a scene and I'll be on the phone to Vince and the cops before security here have you out the door. No calling me, the hospital; nothing. Just get out of my life before either of you do me any more harm."

Chris stood from the chair and leaned over the bed, Shawn doing his best to shuffle himself as far away as the metal sides and his pained movements would allow.

"Its ok Shawn. I love you... I'll wait till you're ready."

Paul had finally had and heard enough, stomping across the room and grabbing Chris by the arm, attempting to pull him away. The smaller man writhed, struggled and cursed but soon Paul had wrapped his large hands around Chris' wrists and started to drag him across the room. With one look back over his shoulder Chris could see Shawn with the hospital buzzer in his hand, raised to his shoulder height and clearly with every intention of pressing it if he had to.

Feeling the straining body finally relax in his grip Paul mumbled a warning to Chris that nobody except Chris could hear. With a nod of acknowledgement both men slowly left the room, the door clicking shut behind them.

Hunter began his walk back around the bed, putting his arm on the back of the chair for a second before going to sit down in it.

"I wouldn't bother if I were you."

Stopping his motion halfway Hunter raised himself back to a standing position, the pain in his knees niggling at him from all the standing still but prepared to assent to Shawn's wishes despite the worrying words he'd just spoken.

"Right now, and I hate saying this, I don't want you here either. Hunter, you've lied to me every day for weeks. Every single day you've been sat there talking to me as if nothing happened, nothing had changed yet everything was so screwed up and you couldn't talk to me about it. You've told me how you're gonna care for me but then when I wanted to come home it was like I asked you to go jump in a lake. You've told me you've loved me and then kissed me like you kiss your Grandma. Don't think I haven't noticed something was going on but I never thought... Why couldn't you just put your cards on the table and ask me like a man?"

In truth the answer was obvious but too complicated and painful for Hunter to explain. If he said that he didn't want to ask in case it was true then it belied the fact that he thought Shawn was capable of playing around behind his back. If he said he was too scared to ask then it made him look pathetic as a man and still routed back to the same reason as before; not believing in Shawn. There was no right answer, just a world of convoluted and complicated reasons that meant he either lacked faith in their relationship or the balls to brass it out.

"It wasn't like that. You were sick, you didn't need me asking awkward questions when you were barely able to talk days after having a ventilator down your throat. I didn't ask because you were so ill. I was worried about you. I was waiting till you were better."

"Better? Why? So you could make me feel like shit again by wanting to go back to my own damn home? So the shock of being called a cheater didn't finish off what Paul started?"

The exasperation in Shawn's words cut into Hunter but as he went through it all in his mind he couldn't think of a time he would've been likely to ask before today. He didn't know if admitting he couldn't cope with the potential truth was something that he should do. Deep down he knew that he'd had the duty to be the strong one. He felt he'd made a good job of that part up till now, it was the sensitive and loving side of him that had suffered because of it though.

"I didn't want you to get stressed out and get even more sick. I did it for us."

"Save it because right now, there's barely an 'us' to do anything for. You didn't do it for anyone but yourself Hunter, you're starting to sound like Chris and frankly I'm tired of hearing bullshit today," Shawn took a deep breath and spoke slowly "None of this mattered as long as I had you behind me, beside me, whatever. I fought the pain, the fear that I'd never walk again, let alone wrestle and all because of you. I thought someone had my back no matter what. Guess I was wrong. We promised each other a long time ago Hunter, no more lies. We had that between us for too damn long and I'm not going back to living like that. I just can't."

"It wasn't a lie. I do love you and I am here for you... I've been here every day, just like you said yourself."

"And you feel better saying that now I've sent Chris packing I'll bet."

To Hunter the battle was starting to seem as if it was one he could never hope to win. Every word he said was wrong and appeared to be pushing them further apart rather than bringing them back together. He cursed every day he'd shown the cowardice that prevented him from dealing with the awkward topic that had just about smashed his heart to smithereens. In his mind he wanted to believe it was the shock and the hurt talking but faith was Shawn's yardstick by which he measured all things, be that faith in God or faithfulness as a way of life.

"I just need some time to think things over. Hunt, gimme a couple of days, a little space. Look, let me get my head right,and I'll give you a call."

"Just let me stay, explain to you, please Shawn?"

"If you're thinking of begging you picked the wrong guy at the wrong time," Shawn paused for a second before a wry smile crossed his lips. "Story of my life."

Shaking his head Hunter tried to indicate that he didn't think it was the way Shawn's life had been, at least not as long as they'd been an item. He chose not to argue with the wishes that had been expressed so clearly. Slowly he shuffled forward, leaning over the metal side panel of the bed only to feel a hand rest on his shoulder and hold him away.

"Not right now. Don't make this harder on either of us than it already is."

The rejection sent a wave of nausea sweeping over Hunter's body, his stomach twisting with the feel of the familiar touch on his shoulder that had turned to an unpleasant pressure weighted with so much more than Shawn simply not wanting a kiss goodbye. He stood back up straight and backed towards the door, watching for any signal that it was all going to be ok, that Shawn did still love him despite turning him away. Nothing. He knew Shawn was genuinely hurting and that the way forward wasn't going to be as simple as he'd first hoped.

Before he could reach the handle of the door a knock came and in strolled Dr Lee, charts in one hand and a fistful of papers in the other.

"Shawn, Hunter. Nice to see you both. Now I've got the full test results if you'd like to hear them."

"Take a seat doctor, Hunter's gotta dash off somewhere but I'm all ears."

Dr Lee nodded and made his way over to the chair, using the bedside cabinet to pile his various papers on, ignoring or not feeling the uncomfortable atmosphere in the room.

Shawn's tone had been jovial enough but he didn't look up, concentrating more on ramming the photos and bracelet into the envelope and dropping them into the top drawer of the cabinet. Hunter was wise enough to take the hint aimed at him and leave. Inside he wanted nothing more than to hear the results, to know what the true damage was and how the recovery was going. In truth he knew that his doubts had cost him the rights to access that information and that he'd only be told what Shawn wanted to tell him.

The enthusiasm and vigour with which he'd started the day had been well and truly expunged from him and he made his way back through the hospital in as slow and sluggish a manner as ever he had done. There was no sign of Chris or Paul for which he was grateful, another confrontation almost at the top of the list of things he knew he wouldn't be able to deal with.

He called into the cafe and grabbed a sludge like coffee which had become a staple of his diet. It was loaded with sugar and cream to make it palatable and taken to the Jeep where the cup holder was clear for a change. Slumping into the drivers seat the only sensation he had was numbness. The pain of losing Shawn had been something he thought he'd touched on when facing up to the fact that he might be readying himself to shack up with Chris. It wasn't until the reality of the situation had revealed itself to be a thousand times harder that his heart had realised it couldn't deal with it and promptly shut down.

He flicked the radio on to kill the quiet and some dreary ballad droned away. With no prompting a tear pooled and fell down his cheek, splashing on his arm as it curled around his chest, seeking some comfort however it came. The irony of all the hours spent crying in that same spot over a question he daren't ask and being back there again when he had asked it should've been funnier than it felt.

Hunter knew that metres away Shawn was most likely getting life changing news about his injuries. He also knew his place should be at that same bedside, holding a hand and offering comfort or congratulations as appropriate. Dr Lee had seemed cheerful enough but in truth that gave little away. It might be days before he found out anything more and he chuckled sarcastically, adding the wait to his list of things to 'thank' Chris for.

Eventually he started the car and rolled out onto the road, his eyes clouded by tears and his head swimming in the ones yet to form. The drive was nothing more than miles of empty road before him. A road that didn't lead home any more, just to a house somewhere that he happened to have the keys for.

* * *

**A/N: *wipes brow* This is hard going at times! Nearly done now, thanks to everyone still reading this, hope you're still enjoying it!**


	15. Chapter 15

Hunter awoke on day three to the click of their archaic answering machine, a relic from the 80's that happened to be the only one that Shawn was able to use with any competency. He expected it would be another well wisher from Shawn's church, the number of those calls promising enthusiastically said prayers had not decreased since the first day the news broke. If Hunter could say one good thing about the people who believed it was that they were certainly determined.

It was when he heard the gruff voice echoing in the hall that he leapt out of bed and propped himself up on the balustrade at the top of the landing, too sleep-drunk to run down the stairs at any kind of sprint lest his knees should decide to have one of their regular episodes. The words echoed clearly in the silent house, their housekeeper presumably out running errands and the dogs out on the yard idling in the sun.

"Hunt, it's me. Well, you know who it is. But anyway, its me. Dammit you know I hate these things. Anyway, I was wondering if...well...yeah... wondering if you wanna come down to the hospital today sometime. I think we need to talk and I don't want to do it over the phone. Can you bring me some new books to read too, I'm bored to heck and back. Well, see you later. Or if not just ring the nurse station, don't wanna be expecting visitors and not... you'll probably come though... but anyway. Just let me know if you're busy. See ya."

The ramble was just that, barely coherent and confirming just how much Shawn hated using the phone, even at the best of times. Hunter smiled until he realised that the phrase "need to talk" had been used and his history had taught him well that such clichés hardly ever led to a happy ending.

~~x~~

It hadn't taken Hunter long to wash and dress, stopping only briefly for breakfast before making one of his speediest trips to the hospital. He was well in advance of the authorised visiting hours but he knew that some sweet talk and another box of cookies would grease the usually stuck wheels of authority. A quick trip to the market on the way there would soon see to that.

The elevator made its usual rumbling journey up the many floors and when the doors pinged open he took a deep breath and made his way into the corridor. His feet felt like lead the closer he got to the nurse station, the realisation of what he might hear finally forcing its way through the barrier of denial he'd been building since Shawn had sent him away a few days before.

Once the exchange of pleasantries and bribery of the nurses had been dealt with he made his way to Shawn's room and even knocked to announce himself. He didn't feel that just entering was the right thing to do; he wasn't really sure what the right thing to do about most things was any more. The call came from Shawn for him to go in and he slipped into the otherwise silent room.

Sitting in what he'd come to consider as 'his' chair Hunter looked at Shawn who was sitting more upright in bed than he'd seen him before and found it to be a welcome sight. Surely that meant that Shawn was well enough to come home and maybe he'd have a chance to make some kind of amends for his doubts? He didn't have much of an opportunity to turn that thought over in his mind before the first low words were spoken.

"You really hurt me Hunter. Really hurt me."

Hunter would've settled for a hello, even for shouting and bawling rather than such a stark statement as Shawn's opening gambit. It threw him totally, not knowing what to say in his defence, if indeed it was worth defending himself at all.

"I'm sorry, I just... I didn't know what to think."

"I suppose now I've thought about it a little more I can see why."

Shawn's voice wasn't getting through the haze, the mild background panic that was making Hunter's heart beat loudly in his ears. Hunter paused and then said something that sounded truer and more sincere in his mind than any words that left his mouth could manage to convey.

"I don't know what I was thinking, how I coulda believed it, even for a minute."

"I can see why you'd think what you did."

"You can?"

The conversation called itself to a halt with those two words, Shawn's firmer tone of voice making his words clearer. Hunter felt his disbelief conceding to his tentative belief in those words, despite still not being entirely sure he'd heard them correctly. It seemed almost too good to be true that Shawn would be as understanding but he decided not to question or challenge further, accepting the gift the sentiment appeared to be.

"I called Vince. Now I know he's no moral barometer but he's got a level head. He told me to think it through, put myself in your shoes and see what conclusions I'd get out of it all. Turns out he was right to make me do that. I won't tell him that though, even if he does make a lot of sense sometimes."

"I do love you Shawn and-"

"Don't you think I know that already? It was the fact you didn't trust me that bothered me the most. Hunter, we went through so much just to be together, how could you think I'd throw that all away?"

"I don't know. You know when something just comes at a bad time? I was so worried about you that when Paul rocked up with those photos I just – they gave me a 'why' at a time when I had nothing else to go on. I needed to make sense in my head of why he did something like that to you. I just believed what I saw, camera never lies, right? I know now I should have believed what I knew instead."

Eyes shut and shaking his head Hunter listened to what he'd just said as it echoed in his mind. It all seemed so simple; Shawn loved him, always had and always would. If only he'd had the strength to believe that no matter what was shown to him, what cruel tricks his mind had played on him in the depths of so many dark and lonely nights. He'd never doubted Shawn before, not even the playful and flirty Shawn that never strayed, never did more than gently suggest things that would never happen. His Shawn, the one he fell in love with a long, long time ago and had had to wait what felt like half his life to be with. That one. In the cold light of day with a hit of Vince's reality check it seemed so easy, so straightforward.

"And d'you still know that stuff now?"

"Yeah, yeah I do. Never more so."

"But you do know Hunt that this ain't fixed with just a sorry..."

"What do you mean?"

"I can understand but I'm still pretty damn cut up about it," Shawn sighed and looked down at his hands; the digits tangled together and twisting nervously in the sheet covered lap. "That's why I've decided I don't wanna come home just yet."

Hunter looked up at Shawn, the blue eyes flashing sage green as the light caught them. He knew that look, it was a warning shot across the bows. It said "Don't argue with me, don't challenge me..." but he felt his grand plans of caring for Shawn as part of his apology were slowly fading away. If he wasn't going to be allowed to make amends in the early days then what was the chance of him being able to do so as time marched on? He had no idea where it left them, no hope that the understanding could turn back into the solid love they'd once shared. In nothing more than a mutter he still felt compelled to ask, however misguided a notion he knew it was in his heart.

"Why not?"

"Hunt its for the best. Just for a few weeks to start with. I need intensive rehab, we both know that. I gotta hit this early and hard and to do that I need to give it all I've got. No distractions."

"But you can do that at home... that was the plan a few days ago..."

"Sure it was but, well, I don't want to be distracted while I'm getting back on track. It won't be for long."

With that Hunter saw a hand extending towards him across the stark white sheets. He looked up and Shawn smiled at him, a soft smile that saw the thin lips curl upwards at the corners fondly. Tentatively he offered his own hand halfway towards meeting it, not daring to assume that it was affection rather than a simple hand gesture.

When the warm fingers interlocked with his own Hunter felt his heart inflate and the giddy rush of love that had never faded in the years they'd been together. One moment of tenderness, of love had sent him spiralling like a junkie, wanting more but knowing he'd have to make do with the hit he'd been given.

"You are gonna come back though?"

"Well, I think so."

A moment of quiet saw their eyes lock and hold, no words or movement, barely even so much as a blink to indicate that they were more than two statues, frozen in time.

"What?"

"Lets just see how it goes. I don't want to be a burden to you Hunter, it wouldn't be fair."

"You'd never be a burden to me."

"Tell me that after you've washed me head to toe and wiped my ass every day for the first month!"

Shawn's laughter was stilted and sounded forced. To Hunter it sounded like Shawn's worst nightmare would be being at home with him, wondering what favours and assistance were being offered out of nothing more than duty or obligation. In his heart he knew he wanted to make amends by offering nothing but the most attentive care he could but in reality he had a feeling that that was the last thing Shawn wanted from him.

It worried Hunter that all the promises they'd made to one another over time of care in times of injury and if either of them got seriously hurt were dissolving. Long forgotten in both minds were the hours of patient waiting that had taken place in that very room; sleepless days followed by sleepless nights that seemed almost innumerate. What had started out as a labour of love had ended as a laboured love for one of them at least.

Drawing a deep breath Hunter readied himself for one last ditch attempt at changing the mind of the resolute man looking at him with kind yet dully glazed eyes.

"I'd do anything for you Shawn."

"I believe that. I do. Just let me do this my way, get me back on my feet and then we'll see, ok?"

"Why not let me at least try?"

"I just need to concentrate of fixing me up for now, hitting the ground running in the right way. I need to get strong enough just to be at home, that's not gonna make much sense to you but to me, its all I can think about. "

"How long for?"

A pause followed where Shawn tilted his head from one side to another, his eyes rolled to the ceiling as if he were counting something or figuring the answer out in his mind.

"Well, see, from what Dr Lee told me it'll only be for a few weeks at first. See how I get on. After that maybe I come home, maybe I go on somewhere more specialist. At the moment Hunt, I really don't know."

With a nod that in itself passed as a heavy-hearted acknowledgement Hunter realised that Shawn was absolutely and totally serious. The statement about him going away had been just that, there would be no discussion or options, only what Shawn wanted and most likely had already booked and got their insurance to pay for.

"So, when do you go?"

"Tomorrow, maybe the day after. I think they said they'd have a space coming up this next few days. Won't be long anyways. Someone got better enough to leave so there's hope for a wretch like me, huh?"

A ripple of laughter between them covered both the joke and the impending awkwardness of their parting. Hunter knew he'd be walking out of the hospital and left to play another waiting game, one that seemed a hell of a lot worse than even the one he'd undergone while they both got the courage up to actually be together. Rubbing his damp palms on his jeans he readied himself for the handshake that he expected to be their parting gesture and covered his throat clearing with a cough. The cough failed to shift the lump that was swelling at the back of his throat or calm the slow-burning fire that was heading up his spine.

"Well, I guess you'll need some time to get ready so I'll, erm, I'll make tracks and give you some time to get your things ready." Rising to his feet Hunter could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest, his breathing struggling to stay regular as the tension in the room seemed to escalate. "I love you Shawn. No matter what I did or didn't do, or what I didn't ought to've believed, I love you." Extending his arm and hand he waited until he saw Shawn's lift up off the bedsheets and go to shake it.

"You don't get off that lightly Hunt, you never did."

With one strong tug Hunter found himself leaning uncomfortably over the high sides of the bed, his left foot struggling to stay in contact with the ground. All thoughts of that though went out of his mind as he found his face pressed into the nape of Shawn's neck, the familiar scent of the fading body wash flooding his senses every bit as much as the arm that wrapped itself around his body and gripped tightly.

The tears that had already threatened to fall pooled in his closed eyes and for those few seconds it was as if nothing had ever happened. Shawn had just had another back op and would be home and ordering him around any day soon. There was no Chris, no Paul, no pictures; nothing other than just them.

Slowly the grip around his hand and ribcage loosened and he stood with his hands propped on the bed side, head hung low between his shoulder blades. It was hard for him not to see it as a foot in the door or a sign that things were already on the mend. He knew that it was just Shawn's way of telling him to be strong, to believe. No words would be found or needed, not yet.

Wearing a weak smile he turned away and walked towards the door, not sure whether or not it was the right time to leave but wanting to keep the watery eyes he'd developed to himself. With a silent sigh he grabbed the handle and pushed it down, the door clicking open and the cool air of the corridor making his eyes feel even more like clenching shut.

"Love ya Hunt."

The three quietly spoken words drove straight into his heart, the nausea rising in his body as the confusion settled itself into his mind. He stopped dead and tried to find the words or the ability to say them back. All that sat at the back of his tongue was the lump he'd felt before, the one he knew would be not assuaged by any amount of sweet words. He daren't turn around now, the warm tears trickling down over his cheeks and flooding into the strips of hair that still framed his chin.

"It's okay Hunter, I know you love me too. This... it's for the best, just trust me on this one."

It wouldn't be until hours later when sleep refused to come that Hunter would turn the last sentence over in his mind, wishing that he could go back in time and have the balls to ask Shawn if it was a dig or what he really meant. There could be no answers as he'd never find the courage to ask what the real intention was. Trust. The word that had been his crutch and his crown of thorns every day for months. Instead he settled for drifting off to sleep believing that it was an innocent comment. Every hour in the night he'd be woken by a recurring dream that Shawn became more lucid in each time it restarted and every time he'd go back to sleep chastising himself for further misunderstandings.

~~x~~

Across town Shawn was struggling to sleep too, his bags packed by the nurses and ready to go in the morning, his latest failed attempt at standing still stinging what was left of his pride. His prayers had been silent and sincere as always but featuring a request for strength he didn't think he had any more. The footprints story had always been on of his favourites, one that seemed relevant to the way he'd been saved and in the dead of that night it was the one he wished would come true.

Reaching for his bible from the cabinet he flicked through a few pages but found nothing much that was reassuring him that faith alone would be enough to get him through. The closest he got was an often visited verse about trials and perseverance. It seemed more relevant and closer to his situation. Shawn put the bible back down and closed his eyes at one last futile attempt at sleeping. All he wanted was to go to sleep and wake up feeling better. One wry smile crossed his lips as his abiding thought was that he'd need to show the patience his mother had always said he lacked. It was just a shame that it'd turned out it wasn't just her he'd have to prove wrong.

* * *

**A/N: So, yet again this was much tougher to write emotionally than I gave it credit for. I hope it was worth the write and worth the wait to read it. And just to mention that I'm doing Nanowrimo in November, I really want to get this story finished but I might have to leave it till early December before I do. Thank you all so very much for sticking with me through this, it's been a rollercoaster and I'll be super glad for a number of reasons when it's done.**


	16. Chapter 16

The smell of Paul's hazelnut latte was warm and welcome. A huge biscotti balanced on the side of the plate that the steaming mug stood on and the spoon clanged the sides of the cup as the two sugar lumps that had been dropped in like sweet depth charges were encouraged to dissolve.

"How's the coffee?"

"Good. Hot. Just fine."

Glenn felt his cheeks flush up when he was pressed for answers by the bigger man. He'd gotten what he wanted; a chance to get to know Paul better over the last couple of months. His shoulder had been cried on to the point of saturation but his interests beyond friendship weren't all that had driven him to do it. He'd seen the fade in Paul's personality since the lengthy suspension had begun and even now he'd been reinstated there wasn't that much change. He did however catch sight of a spark in the wide eyes every now and again. It was all he could hope for that it was something to do with him.

"So, you and Chris... its definitely..."

"Yeah. Turns out that even being the size of two guys wasn't enough for him. He's back in Canada trying to butter his wife up, or at least was, the last I heard. I'm sure he'll get his third lot of marching orders in as many months."

The rueful tone of Paul's voice was something he'd spent a while working on toning down. He'd begun to channel his anger and upset into slimming down and toughening up, no longer being the soft touch that everyone saw him as. In doing that he was trying not to shut off the few friends he had left, Glenn being one of the only ones who gave him a fair hearing when Shawn got hurt and all hell had broken loose.

"Well, if you ever fancy catching a movie or grabbing some dinner, something to get you back out there in the real world then I'd be glad to help you rack up some deductables."

Unable to stifle his lop sided grin Glenn looked across the table and was pleased to see Paul looking back and nodding slowly.

"Sure. Why not. Guy's gotta eat, right? Wednesday, we got a day off after the tapings."

Returning the nod Glenn took a deep drink of his cooling Americano and then raised his trace of an eyebrow.

"One thing I wondered, and I might be overstepping the mark in asking, but did they ever find out who jumped Chris that night?"

Deliberately contorting his face into the shape of an unreadable reaction Paul shrugged before he spoke.

"Nope. They reckon it was a one off. Just someone trying their luck..."

* * *

For Hunter the weeks were dragging by. His recent drunken sabbatical over he was back on the road, not seeing the sense in kicking around alone at home. His energy seemed re-focused as if he'd not been giving himself a chance to even so much as think about Shawn when he didn't have to. Every night ended the same, alone in his hotel room with some bad flick playing away in the background. The early hours found him pounding a treadmill as fast as his legs would go until he hit the stop button and leaned retching over the side safety bar. Then he'd move onto the weights where he'd only load two thirds of his usual stack, knowing full well he hadn't got the self control to lift or rep properly. His temper shortened with each passing day and seemed to be taking his patience with it.

All that kept him from meltdown were the occasional phone calls from Shawn, short snippets with a few details of how his rehab was going, always dodging the topic of when he'd be coming home, never revealing the full truth of how he was or how bad his health was likely to be in the future. It had gotten to the point where Hunter had stopped trying to drag the conversation round to the questions he really wanted to ask, Shawn having become almost too adept at heading him off at the pass.

His in ring work however was the only thing that had benefited. It was all he ate, slept, breathed and craved. From the moment he picked up the bottle of water till the kick in of his music or his opponent's, it was all about business. Orton commented on his intensity, asked if he'd got a new trainer. Cena joked around and asked if he could get some lessons on how to be a heel someday. None of them knew that Shawn wasn't around by choice. Their comments didn't cut Hunter deep, more left him with the kind of stinging paper cuts that even the passing breeze makes more sore and angry. He stopped going to the bar with them all after the shows, ate room service and travelled alone, driving to all places bar the latest one, Canada, and that was only because it was just too damn far.

* * *

Stepping out of the tunnel Hunter headed towards the baggage carousel, hair tied back and stuffed under his beanie hat, a second sweater stuffed under the first to form a makeshift gut. The last thing he wanted was to get recognised. Having deliberately caught the redeye he knew he was around 8hrs in front of the rest of the roster and hoped that the professional autograph hunters would still be in their bedrooms readying their Ebay merch when he'd be hopping into a cab outside the main entrance.

Reaching into his pocket he plucked out his cellphone and turned it back on; not wanting to draw any attention to himself he'd switched it off whilst delayed in the departures lounge in Calgary. A couple of messages came through asking where he was or if he wanted a ride to the airport followed by an email about the new video game cover shoot and a voicemail. Looking around he figured that he'd slipped sufficiently under the radar and decided to listen to the message, the likelihood being that it was Vince wanting to see what time he would be landing into Boston on Thursday for the quarterly Creative throwdown.

After the usual 'press one, press two' nonsense he finally got to the message and as he listened his heart pounded. It was Shawn asking him to go up to the rehab facility so they could talk properly. It was the call he'd been waiting for. The emotions within him were as clear as they were confused, his happiness tainted with a fear that he might be building himself up for good news that would never come.

Within minutes he'd called Vince and arranged some time off, cancelling appearances and house shows for the next week at least. Vince had already made it clear to both of them that he'd open all the doors he could to give them the best shot at getting back to normal and Hunter found himself glad that his boss was a man of his word. At first he'd resented that Shawn had felt able to go to Vince for advice and that all their dirty laundry had been washed in front of someone outside the four of them involved. Then he realised that he'd burdened Adam with all of that a long time before Shawn ever got to know what was going on and it seemed all square.

As he stood at the ticket desk whilst the attendant checked the scheduling of the next flights out, Hunter couldn't stop himself from running scenarios through his mind as to what might happen between them. Considering how stilted and awkward their conversations had been he wasn't sure that their reunion would be as Hallmark as most of their friends kept assuring him it would. None of them knew the truth so he'd had no choice but to laugh along and hope they might be right. All he really cared about was boarding a flight and getting to Shawn to hear whatever the real news was, good or bad.

* * *

Hunter had done his best to sleep through the short flight to make it pass quicker but it had been pointless. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Shawn back in the hospital bed, just how it was the last time they saw one another. When he opened them again all he could do was check his watch and phone endlessly, ignoring the in flight meal and politely dealing with the enquiries of a concerned air hostess that he recognised from numerous flights before.

Another needless trip to the bathroom was followed by a large bourbon, the only thing to pass his lips during the entire flight. It helped to take the edge off the jitters and felt warm in his otherwise empty belly. He fixed his eyes on a point on the cabin ceiling and held them there, letting his head rock back into the comfortable head cushion of his seat. One and a half more hours to go, a short rental ride to the facility and then it would be time. In the back of his mind he heard a distant 'Are you ready?' but the rest of the hackneyed catchphrase didn't come because he wasn't. He'd never be ready for the possibility of losing Shawn.

* * *

A friendly therapist had let him leave his bags at the front desk, recognising him immediately from TV which thankfully avoided the rigmarole he'd been expecting. She was petite, blonde and starstruck and, after ringing his suite and finding out he wasn't there, more than willing to provide the details of Shawn's likely whereabouts in exchange for an autograph and a shakily taken picture.

In the extensive grounds there was a pathway out onto a beachfront area, access enabled for all manner of mobility aids that might be used by the clientèle. It was secluded, private to the residents only and, Hunter surmised, one of the reasons the place cost so much to stay at. He hadn't envisioned anything basic but it appeared to be a lot more plush than he thought such places would be. He often wished they lived on the coast rather than on some inland ranch that was often like a dustbowl but the wannabe cowboy would hear none of it. Anything less than scorching and he had two sweaters on and the air conditioning flipped to warm.

The walk out was brief but Hunter wasn't quite sure what he was looking for other than a familiar face. After crossing through the landscaped gardens he found himself on a broad concrete path and there, some fifty metres away from him, was a wheelchair positioned up against the railings. In that chair was a familiar figure and Hunter paused to register fully that it was who he thought it was. It was only when he saw the man curl his arms around the railings and hoist himself to his feet that he became certain. Carefully the figure descended back into the chair, paused for a moment and then repeated the action, the second time a little slower than the first and then the third slower still.

A fourth repetition looked significantly more strained than any of the others and Hunter felt the lump in his throat appear and make itself known. It had been a shock to see Shawn on his feet at all but an even bigger one to see how quick he'd tired as a result of doing it. His instincts told him to run, to go and put his arms around Shawn and congratulate him for doing so well, for working so hard to achieve so much but he knew it wouldn't be for the best. Instead he put his head down and resumed walking at a normal pace, all the while trying to find the right words to say. Once he had passed the halfway mark he could see the outline of the familiar tattoo and kept his eyes fixed on it for the rest of the short distance. The closer he got he could see that Shawn had closed his eyes and seemed to be facing the sky. It was probably a moment of prayer but by the time he was at the side of the chair he had no option but to speak and interrupt whatever was going on, not wanting his presence to provide a fright when Shawn opened his eyes again.

"Shawn?"

The word was little more than a whisper but between the calm waters and lack of people it was loud enough to get Shawn's attention. He opened his eyes cautiously and looked up to see Hunter stood above him. "Hunt, you're here already!" Shawn's voice did little to mask how surprised he was. "When d'ya get here?"

"I came as soon as I got your call. You did say to come here? If I heard you wrong I guess I got it a lot wrong."

Hunter's short burst of uncomfortable laughter went unaccompanied.

"Yeah. No. Yes... what I mean is yes, I wanted to you to come here but I didn't mean for you to drop everything to do that. Not so suddenly."

"I just missed you man and it feels like forever since we last spoke, since I last saw you."

An awkward moment of silence fell upon them, no kisses or touches were exchanged and hardly seemed appropriate anyway. Instead it seemed more apt for them both to remain as they were, Shawn turning again to face out to sea and Hunter beside him, surreptitiously running his eyes over the wheelchair and it's occupant.

Their reunion hadn't gone quite as either of them truly imagined it. The lack of physicality was a given, neither man feeling that the boundaries of personal space was theirs to invade any longer. There were no positive or negative signs to be read, no markers that laid down the rules. Hunter was still convinced he'd been called down for one last fond farewell and to divvy up their possessions. Shawn on the other hand was getting to grips with the decision his brain was making with not inconsiderable assistance from his heart.

It appeared that time hadn't dulled or damaged what Hunter truly felt for Shawn. Hunter's heart still thundered in his chest at the sight of the strong arms that looked more tanned and muscular than at any point since the accident. Dark blonde hair still sat in a neat ponytail and looked invitingly touchable. This was a man he'd always loved and still did. Nothing, not even the pain of their lengthy separation, had changed that.

Shawn gestured to a bench a little further down the pathway and Hunter walked alongside as he wheeled himself towards it, knowing better than to try and push the chair or offer to help in any way. Things were precariously balanced enough without him worsening the situation by making such an error. Dropping his travel-tired bones onto the sun warmed wood he slipped his jacket off and tossed it over the back of the bench. He stared ahead into the evening sunset, the last of the bright light just above the horizon and the sky burned a dark salmon pink with swathes of orange. It was that dying sun that was keeping the air temperature bearable as the breeze blew around his bare arms

"So, you gotta be wondering why I called you here Hunter."

"You could say that. I've been waiting for this call since the day you came out here."

"I know and I gotta thank you for doing what I asked and leaving me be a while. I got my self back together a whole lot since then. You know Hunter, I've worked harder than I ever did in my whole damn life since I've been here. They, uh, they make sure you're giving it your all. They sure got more outta me than Vince ever did."

The attempt at lightening the mood fell flat on it's face, much to Shawn's surprise and disappointment. The tension between them was already making it hard for him to get out the words he wanted to say and they'd barely been together five minutes. Their easy ways with each other of old seemed to have faded.

"Shawn, you asked for time, for space. After all we've been through how could I not let you go do what you thought was for the best? It was pretty clear I didn't know what was the right thing to do."

Hunter couldn't sop the sigh that followed, wishing he could so he didn't sound so weary of the whole situation. He wanted to be able to offer Shawn encouragement and support no matter what was going to happen, knowing that the bleeding heart routine was hardly his to perform given the circumstances.

"Even so, I know how tough I've found it being here without you so I kinda have some idea. Well, depending on how you feel maybe I don't but Hunt, if you thought of me even half as much as I thought about you then you're probably more than halfway to crazy right now."

Shawn's words made Hunter look away and at the birds that soared above the waves waiting to dive. His eyes sought a distraction so that he didn't have to think about how it had been. It had been harder than he ever thought, incredibly so. Friends had rallied round for both of them, thankfully he'd found that some of their colleagues were more in touch emotionally than others.

"You don't need to ask me how I feel Shawn. I got the first flight here. I don't even have a place to stay and probably won't get one at this time of night but it doesn't matter. Not to me. I had to be here," Hunter paused for a moment to find the right words, knowing they were all important. "Whatever you've got to say to me."

Shawn twisted his hands in his lap, the feeling of apprehension getting to him quicker than he thought it would. There was so much he wanted to say but didn't know where, or if, to start. His idea had been to force his own hand. Once Hunter was on the way there would be no turning back. The decisions and questions that churned around inside his head would stop. Only when Hunter was in front of him would things become clearer, at least that's what he'd hoped would happen. The only flaw in his grand plan was that he'd expected it to take a couple of days before Hunter would be able to get out of his commitments and a grace period of mental preparation was a luxury he no longer had.

Shawn knew it was ungrateful to think of things that way but six months alone had changed how he felt and thought about a lot of the things that had gone on, that much he did know. Gone was the anger and the bitterness, all channelled away into his innumerate sessions of physical therapy and prayer. Hours by the sea, hours in church alone; all spent in a silence he craved but that extended no further than the outer shell of his ears.

Inside he still sought the quiet of soul that it had taken him years to achieve. The safe security of being loved and comfortable in his own skin had faded after the revelations in the recent past and hadn't reappeared in the time he'd been away. He was desperate to get back to that. It was only earlier in the week that it had struck Shawn that, love him or hate him, stay with him or leave him, Hunter was the key to that peace.

On the down days when the counsellors couldn't persuade him out of his room all he'd wanted was the warm and familiar touches; an arm around his shoulder as they drove, a hand weighing heavy on his hip as he slept. He'd been too scared of himself and the possible rejection to ask Hunter to come to him until the need for comfort and familiarity had gotten to be too much.

"All I've got to say is, well..."

The long wait that followed was only punctuated by the distant birdsong and a few small mutters from Shawn as he got the words in his head in an order somewhere close to a sentence. Hunter wanted to tell him to spit it out, to get it over and done with, to break the bad news already. Inside his head spun a string of colourful curse words that, of course, he would never say out loud. Same as it was months ago, all he wanted was to know.

"Hunt, I want us to give it another try. Y'know, you and me, how we were before."

Almost as quickly as he'd started talking Shawn had stopped again leaving Hunter reeling and wondering if he'd heard the brief statement correctly. Despite his sensible side telling his brain to answer carefully in case he'd heard wrongly he refused to ask Shawn to say the words over again. All he found himself saying was "Me too."

"You sure? I mean this hasn't been easy for either of us. I know that if you can't trust me, well, I'd kinda understand and that's fine but I won't expect Rome to get rebuilt in a day if you do want to give it a shot."

Shawn's tone wasn't deliberately meant to be making Hunter's heart ache but it was. He found himself excited that Shawn was offering him a way back, a way that gave them the chance he'd been holding out for. At the same time he had to be cautious about it all too. He didn't want to be 'taken back' out of pity or obligation but he accepted that it wouldn't be possible to know for sure that they weren't the reasons, same as they couldn't just hit the play button and carry on like nothing had ever happened.

"You know me Shawn and I don't have the words you do. I'm not a book reading guy. I'm pretty simple and it's best for me to stay that way. Before you say anything else I just want you to know that I'd never pass up a chance to try to get back to what we had. I waited years to get to that point and you should know how much I loved you then and love you now. Always have man, always will."

Hunter looked at Shawn and smiled, the sun framing his lover against the flame coloured sky. All he could hope was that the strength and enduring nature of that once shared emotion could one day give him and give them back what they'd come so very close to losing altogether.

Wheeling himself up close to the bench Shawn leaned over and took Hunter's hand in his, squeezing it tightly. He wasn't expecting there to be a significant reaction but wanted to make the gesture. Almost selfishly he wanted feel something familiar that would start to convince him that he was right to think that there was a future for them. When Hunter leaned over and planted a chaste kiss on his temple he closed his eyes and just let the moment happen. It was only seconds long but felt like it started the demolition of the Hoover dam he'd found constructed around his heart. For those seconds back was the still and the sense of calm that came with the rush of love their bond still gave him.

"You think you can deal with a wrecked old man like me around the place Hunt? I can stand a little bit but walking is looking well, unaided walking, is looking like a bridge too far for me. "

Shawn's smile dipped to a frown briefly until Hunter squeezed his free hand around their interlocked fingers and nodded.

"I think I can cope. I meant what I said before you came down here, that I'd take care of you no matter what. I don't care if I gotta follow you around picking the crockery up when you're slamming through the kitchen on a golf cart. And besides, I already took Cena on as a houseboy and …."

Hunter stopped himself as he realised just how inappropriate the joke on the tip of his tongue was. His smile weakened and he shook his head, realising what an idiot of he was about to make of himself.

"Man, I'm sorry. I didn't think. It just came out."

There was no disapproving scowl or snide words; no hurt feelings or harking back to the past. If anything it proved to Shawn that despite things being so different on the surface that deep down maybe so little of them and between them had really changed.

"Don't apologise to me Hunter. I just hope the kid does a mean bed bath."

~~x~~

"_You've got a way to keep me on your side,_

_You give me cause for love that I can't hide,_

_For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide."_

_~~x~~_

**A/N: So, that's it. Finally done! I never thought this whole WIP thing would take so long but I'm glad I finished it and that it's something I'm pleased with rather than just being over!**

**I just want to thank everyone that's stuck with this story despite the long gaps between updates (which we can thank the retired Shawn for XD). Thank you for your kind words, lovely reviews and just for reading what I've written. I sincerely appreciate every single person that's followed this story *hearts* **

**Most of all I hope you enjoyed the story, I think I did but I'll read it again in six months and know more then :)**

**And one more thing. Lyrics at the end borrowed from 'Walk The Line' by Johnny Cash which I genuinely did not know contained relevant words until I heard it on a Youtube video a few months ago. Kinda fitting I suppose!**


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